Suzanne Jones

Versatile Blogger (and asking for a big favour)

2012-01-30T11:05:00.003Z

Thank you to Susan Jane Jones for nominating me personally and the Minxes for Versatile Blogger awards. I hereby accept on behalf of both parties. Now I have to divulge seven facts about myself:

1. Even though we're near identical name twins, Susan and I are not related :0)

2. I have a wrinkle underneath my left eye that worries me. It used to work its way out by lunchtime, but now it's there all the time. I'm trying to learn to sleep on my back to stop it getting worse.

3. Talking of sleep, I think one of my ancestors must have been a cat because I seem to have inherited the sleep gene. I can sleep anywhere: In the car (not while I'm driving). In my chair at work (only if I've nothing to do). At the cinema. The other day I fell asleep while writing a story (but that's maybe a reflection on how interesting the story was, rather then my possibly feline genetic make-up).

4. I suspect I might not be as bright as I think I am. It worries me.

5. When my daughter leaves home for uni (in less than three years, as she keeps reminding me) I'm going to get a parrot to keep me company. And I'm going to teach it to shout 'in a minute' - which is Lovely Daughter's stock reply to every request.

6. I love a bargain. I will spend twice what I'd planned if it means qualifying for a special offer.

7. I'm blogging on the Minx site today. Is it too cheeky for me to plead with you to pop over and leave a comment? I'm worried it might look as though I have no friends. There are no prizes and I can't offer you money, but I will love you for ever.

A Challenging Couple of Weeks

2012-01-15T18:15:00.006Z

So, the first two weeks of the brand New Year have flown by. And I'm still raring to go. Yay.

I've signed up for Sally Quilford's 100k in 100days challenge and I think this has helped enormously. Not only has a lovely and supportive writing community grown from this, but I'm actually keeping up and this has boosted my confidence.

I've been working on one of my longer projects, so haven't produced as many stories as I might have during the past 15k words. But, last weekend, I joined in a challenge - set by an online writing group - to write a short story. Of course, it's nowhere near ready to be submitted to a magazine at this stage, but I'm thinking there might be something there. A few more drafts should tell me one way or another if I think it's okay to send out.

It seems I'm one for the challenges in 2012.

There hasn't been much news from anywhere, but I'm okay with that. I've kind of written off a few submissions in my head in any case. The oldest being a partial requested by a well known publisher in 2010 - after a fast track (I don't like using exclamation marks, but in this case I'm very tempted !!!!!!!) . A query last October confirmed it was still under consideration - by which I'm guessing it's not been looked at yet (they were obviously holding their breath for that one). I've also resigned myself to never hearing about a Christmas story submitted in July - I'm guessing story and subsequent query have been eaten by the scary cyber radiator.

Not that I'm whinging. I know there are an overwhelming number of writers chasing ever an shrinking number of fiction opportunites. Thousands of stories will be landing on editors' desks every week. I'm only grateful it's only two projects I haven't heard back about.

There aren't many other stories left waiting for a decision: Another July submission, a couple from October and three from December. Really need to get more stuff out there, I think.

While I might not have much writing news of my own, I'm so pleased to be able to tell you about Diane Fordham's new book, Dream Keeper: It's Time to Face Your Fears

Diane is a very talented writer - as well as being a lovely blogger and a great friend - so I'm very excited about this. Dream Keeper is a very spooky tale and worth a read. You can find out more about the book on Diane's website here.

Feeling positive for 2012

2011-12-30T20:54:00.004Z

Due to various personal issues, I wrote very little for the first few months of 2011. This translated into poorer sales figures for the year. I only submitted a fraction of the fillers I'd managed the previous year, so sold a good deal fewer. I did manage to submit the same number of short stories as in 2010 - but sold one less. However, there are a small handful still under consideration, so I'm hoping they'll give me a good start to the New Year.

I think many people are pleased to see the back of 2011. It's been a gloomy twelve months for many. It's good to see, though, a number of us excited and looking forward to better things in 2012.

In terms of writing, I haven't made any New Year's resolutions, but I have prepared a business plan - which I know kind of goes against the creative ideal, but it's hard to ignore some self-employed Old Bag Book-Keeper habits. I know I've been very lucky to sell a few stories over the past couple of years. I also know it's impossible to entirely control the sale of writing projects - too many factors are involved and nobody can control them all. I will, however, do my best to improve my chances by dealing with those factors I can influence. First of all, I need to increase the number of projects under consideration. And, secondly, I need to make sure each project is the best I can make it before I submit.

I'm still quite a way from earning a full-time living from my words - but I'm getting there and the proceeds of short story sales are now contributing significantly towards the bills. My hope is that in 2012 I can double last year's writing income. Maybe, one day, I will be able to give up the day job :0)

To end the old year, I have a Hogmanay story in the current issue of my favourite magazine - The People's Friend (dated 31/12/11). So am a very happy bunny as I await the bells.

Thank you all for visiting me over the past twelve months - I hope to see you again soon. And I wish you all a peaceful and very happy New Year - and all the lovely things you wish yourselves.

Much love to you all. XX

Lots going on, some good and some not so...

2011-12-17T19:58:00.001Z

Not so good:

Bad hair days aplenty. These days, whenever I look in a mirror, Wagner looks back. Scary stuff.

The cold weather has resulted in late onset asthma. At least that's my diagnosis - no time to see the doctor, but I have trouble catching my breath and have acquired a cough that has no rational explanation (no cold, no chest infection, in fact I feel fine - apart from the coughing/breath-catching combo).

No new writing hits at all. I mean NOTHING. I had hoped to equal last year's short story sales, but I'm still one short.

Annoying people. I could go on all day about those, so I'll stop there.

And the good:

Thank goodness for lovely friends who knit. I'm not normally a scarf person, but lovely Judith has knitted me a lovely, warm and woolly green one - and it's been wrapped twice around my neck ever since (apart from when it's taken off for a spin in the washing machine). In fact I'm wearing it now - and my self-diagnosed late onset asthma situation is much improved.

While I might not have made any new writing sales these past few weeks, there was one I made earlier: A story - Out Of Her League in last week's People's Friend (issue dated December 10).

And, saved the very best news for last: My very lovely niece has decided to make an honest man of her equally lovely boyfriend and they're getting married next month. Congratulations to both. XX

As for the bad hair days, I'm afraid there is no happy ending with those. I'm destined to always have a style that looks like a bird's nest - that's been built by a bird who can't build nests. Not good at all.

Happy Birthday Baby

2011-11-07T12:15:00.004Z

Time for my annual Baby's Birthday blog post - and I can't believe it's been a whole year since the last one. And I can't believe she's fifteen. Not only do I not feel old enough to the mother of a fifteen-year-old (well, not until I look in a mirror, anyway), but it seems like just yesterday I was bringing her back from the hospital.

As usual, because a date of birth can be used as an identifier, I've deliberately delayed the post to protect her privacy. Her actual birthday was last month. Yes, Mama is paranoid. But, as always, just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me.

Enough talking - here are the pictures:

She was 9 days old here. Looking back at this photo, I can't believe how tiny she was. Just a little handful and no weight at all in my arms. I was so delighted with her it wasn't true. I suppose most mums feel the same about their babies. I wondered what she'd look like when she was older, what kind of person she'd grow into...

And now I know exactly what she's like, because this is her 15 years later.

It seems like no time at all, and yet it's long enough for a tiny person to grow from 5 lbs 11 oz into very nearly an adult. Scary stuff. There's very little of the tiny baby left and I'm heartbroken that those years have gone by so quickly. She'll be leaving home before I know it.

Belated Happy Birthday, BabyGirl.

Very quickly, I have some writing news - a couple of stories sold (hurray) and two more published: One in last week's Weekly News and one in this week's People's Friend (issue dated November 5th, if any of you fancy a look). Other than that, not a lot going on writing wise - just lots of waiting and a vague idea that I should maybe get some more work 'out there'. Sigh.

Hope you're all okay and writing well.

Mostly about the writing

2011-10-16T19:29:00.002+01:00

First of all, I'm still frantically trying to comment on all your blogs. The odd one has taken, but most disappear when I try to publish the comment - very annoying. I'll keep trying, but after the Blogger problems over the summer, I'm not overly impressed by this.

Secondly, I'd like thank Diane and Teresa for nominating me for a friendly blogger award. I normally shy away from passing these things on, but I've pulled on my big girl knickers this morning and I'm going to nominate some bloggers who have read and critiqued my work - and have carried out handholding duties when I've been feeling low.

So: Minxes (in alphabetical order) - Catherine, Jo, Lacey, Lorraine, Maya, Romy, Sally, Sri.

And short story writers - all of you from the lovely critique group I belong to. I won't name names because the membership list isn't widely known and you might want to preserve anonymity. But you all know who you are.

Last but definitely not least, lovely Judy - who not only critiques my work, but also regularly puts up with me in person. Is there anything better than meeting up to eat cake and talk about writing? (And huge congratulations, Judy, on the recent sale of your Pocket Novel to My Weekly.)

I think I need to write more. I have very few stories under consideration at the moment which probably explains my lack of recent sales. This past year has been difficult in lots of ways (actually, if I'm honest, the past decade's been pretty hard). But wallowing won't get anyone anywhere, so I'm planning to shake myself firmly by the lapels and give myself a good talking. I need to increase output - there's no getting away from it.

Lots of reasons I need to do this: The law of numbers would suggest the more I have out there, the more I might sell. I need the validation and boost to self-esteem that a sale brings. And, most of all, I desperately need the money (yes, I know there are lots of easier ways to make significantly more, but I don't want to do any of those things - I want to write). The only way to make any kind of money writing is to write lots and sell lots.

Good news to end, though. A short story sale to report - to The Weekly News. Last year, I sold a handful to this publication, but this is my first sale to them this year. So am a happy bunny today.

Hope you're all okay and writing well.

PS Links are there, but don't seem to be showing up.

Ten Random Things

2011-10-08T12:30:00.010+01:00

Lovely Teresa recently tagged me to reveal 10 random things. Thank you, Teresa.

Here goes:

1. I fell out with Avon Cosmetics a couple of weeks ago.
Next-day-delivery turned out to be two-days later because, in their universe, 1.14am is not before 11.00am.
That was okay - I wasn't happy, but it wasn't a disaster.
But the delivery didn't arrive on the second day either, despite their promises and my having paid extra and ensured someone was home especially. This made me cross.
A nasty little man named Alan became patronising and over-familiar over the phone and refused to put me through to his supervisor. This made me even crosser.
The parcel didn't arrive on the third day. Nor the fourth. The tracking page wasn't updated and nobody seemed to know where my parcel was. Every email response I got from Avon was a cut and paste job - and then they refunded my postage, thinking that made everything okay.
It didn't.
By then I was very very very cross. They still had my money and I still had no parcel.
They started to ignore my emails and that made me very cross indeed. And they refused to tell me the name of their UK managing director.
When the parcel eventually arrived - over a week later rather than next day - the tracking page had still not been updated and the promised delivery notification email had not materialised, so there was nobody home. Luckily, a lovely neighbour took it in - just as well she was honest, because the delivery man failed to put a note through my door.
Still, parcel had arrived, so I and Daughter (whose make-up it was) had to be happy. Right? Wrong. The box was massive, huge, with our poor items rattling around at the bottom of a big empty space - and the far too big, far too empty box had been damaged - dented and ripped - and several of my items were missing.
This did not do my blood pressure any good.
So, I wrote again. I was assured the missing items would be dispatched immediately and, a few days later, another parcel arrived (preceded by the promised notification email - so it does work sometimes). But I'm still not happy - this parcel was filled with two of their advertised free gifts (that had been missing from the original parcel) and no sign at all of the missing items I'd paid for.
I have given up all hope of them arriving and for the sake of my own sanity have written the whole thing off to experience.
Make-up is not a necessity (and particularly not for a 14-year-old) - and buying it is supposed to be fun. In this case it wasn't. But I did have huge fun filling out the customer survey: Would I buy from Avon again? Not if my life depended on it.
Which is a shame, because the stuff they did manage send was lovely.

2. I keep a list of people and companies who have displeased me. I add to it regularly. Avon is the latest name on it.

3. When I was young, I used to be able to knit, sew and crochet. Somewhere around my teen years, the ability to do those things disappeared and now I can't even thread a needle.

4. I don't like any weight on my nose, which was a pain when it was discovered I'm short sighted. Sometimes, I used to tie my glasses to my pony tail to keep them off my face, but now I just wear contact lenses.

5. For two months when I was 9, I took piano lessons. My teacher, Miss Jones (no relation), was lovely. We used to sit and watch Crossroads when I should have been practising my scales. Those two months did nothing for my musical ability, but I do know David Hunter's life story.

6. I hate my day job. (I've said that before, but I hate it so much it needs to be repeated at regular intervals.)

7. I'm something of a telly addict. This was reinforced during a recent edition of Pointless, where contestants were asked to look at a list of tv spin-offs and name the original programmes. I knew every single one.

8. I'm known to be slightly psychic. I always know someone is going to call - and who it is - before the phone even rings. Sadly, I'm yet to predict the winning lottery numbers.

9. This year, we're planning to put our Christmas tree up in November. It's a long story, but I may do a blog post about it nearer the time.

10. My poor little car will be ten years old in a few months. I'm worried it won't last another winter. I'm going to have to start buying Take a Break again and keep fingers crossed I win the car soon.

Well, look at that: 10 random things and none of them about writing. Next time it will ALL be about the writing. Promise.

And, in the meantime, some writing news: I have a story in this week's People's Friend (issue dated 8th October). This started life as one my most romantic moments in Prima, grew legs and became a short story.

Finally, thank you to lovely Diane for nominating me for the Friendly Blogger award. Nothing nicer than being picked for something like this by a fellow blogger.

PS the links are there and seem to be working, but they aren't highlighted for some reason.

PPS I've been trying to comment on all your blogs, but when I go to post it all disappears. Will keep trying. Hopefully it will sort itself out soon.

Expedition

2011-09-29T19:42:00.001+01:00

There are some things I'd never do: I'd never audition for the X Factor. I'd never get up in front of 200 people and give a talk on making the perfect Victoria sponge. And I'd never, ever in a million years (not even for a million pounds), take a rucksack and a tent into the Scottish hills for an overnight stay. Not even if I was still 14 and it meant another shiny for my school blazer.

That just goes to show how much more adventurous Daughter is, because going off into the hills is exactly what she did last week, when she went on her Duke of Edinburgh bronze expedition.

The weather was horrible. Her rucksack weighed almost as much as she did. And, I'm sure she wouldn't mind me saying, she's not the sportiest of girls so she found it really difficult.

Despite my spending a fortune on the correct equipment - and making sure the rucksack was properly fitted - she still has bruises on her shoulder and her hips. And her boots were so wet and muddy, she suspects she may have contracted trench foot.

But she did it. And I'm very proud of her.

I know this is supposed to be a writing blog - it only seems like I've forgotten - so I'm happy to report some good writing news: A short story sale on Monday to lovely, lovely People's Friend. I was especially pleased as one of the characters was based on my very wonderful daughter. She approves for the moment, but will no doubt complain I'm using her life to further my writing the next time she falls out with me. :0)

Ten random things here soon. I might even manage to think of some writing things. :0)

Why I love my Mother's Day TV

2011-09-17T18:23:00.016+01:00

For years, we peered from a distance at a 24" tv. Technology might have moved since it was bought, but it worked fine. And frankly we didn't know any better.

So what if I couldn't see the screen properly? I'm getting on and it's only to be expected at my age.

And then, for Mother's Day this year, I was given a new tv.

I grumbled a little. After all, what were we to do with the old one? There was nothing wrong with it, but nobody would want it because they all had large flatscreens. And this new one is a 42" - and sat uncomfortably large in the tv corner.

Valiantly, I overcame my objections and forced myself to watch - and was instantly smitten as I was transported to a magical wonderland. Whatever I watch now, it's like I'm really there. We popped The Sound Of Music (hooray) into the Blu-ray player and I could very nearly breathe the fresh mountain air. John Barrowman is practically life-sized. And as for Pobol Y Cwm - well, it's exactly as though I'm back in Wales.

I can actually see the screen properly - without squinting. Every viewing is a cinema experience. And it's largeness has quickly been accommodated so it now looks as though it belongs.

Now I'm only cross we didn't get a bigger telly years ago.

Other news:

Lovely Teresa has tagged me: Ten random things coming soon :0)

New Voices excitement has arrived again. I've decided not to enter this year - my nerves couldn't stand it. But (in alphabetical order) Minx Catherine Coles and Minx Romy Sommer have both posted up fantastic chapters (they really are good - and I'm not just saying that because they're friends). Click on their names to read their entries.

And can I ask you to please send positive vibes for dry weather over the Ochil Hills this weekend? My wee angel and friends are currently in the wilds with rucksacks and tents on their Bronze Duke of Edinburgh Awards expedition. And the weather aint good. :0(

Disliking people you've made

2011-08-22T21:00:00.007+01:00

Before I became a mother, it always used to worry me I might have a child I didn't like. Can you imagine how awful that would be? Stuck for life with offspring that was dull or boring or just plain nasty - someone I couldn't stand the sight of.

Luckily for me, I was gifted with a child who is wonderful. I can talk for hours about how beautiful, funny, interesting and intelligent she is. She's good company and I enjoy every minute I spend with her, even when she's giving me cheek. And I'm already suffering pre-emptive empty nest syndrome, even though she still has three years of school left before she goes off to university. (She's just read this and wants me to tell you she also has lovely hair.)

Just as well I like her, really because you can't take your child back to the shop for a refund. And, whatever the childcare experts might advise, you can't change their personalities.

It's much easier with fictional characters. If you create a character you don't like, you can influence them to a much greater degree than you can a child. And you can, in drastic situations, perform corrective procedures on their entire personalities.

I've had to do this with my current WIP. The heroine was shrill and unreasonable. The hero was alpha to the point of being utterly obnoxious. So I've unearthed my writerly dissecting kit and tried to analyse exactly what was wrong with them - and made an attempt to rebuild them into nicer characters.

The heroine has had her edges softened. The hero has had his nasty streak amputated. I think the result is much more pleasant - and now I feel these are people I'd like, rather than a couple I'd avoid at parties.

(There are a few characters in real life I'd like to perform the same corrective surgery on, but that's another story.)

I'll let you know as soon as I hear if I've done enough to turn it into a saleable manuscript, but please keep your fingers crossed for me.

Next time: Reasons I love my Mother's Day TV

Getting words written (or not)

2011-08-07T06:38:00.014+01:00

I'm convinced, however much I might wish it otherwise, that I could never be a full time writer. There's a very simple reason for this. Whenever the whole day stretches ahead of me, empty apart from the promise of working on my stories - I will end up doing anything but.

Take yesterday, I got up particularly early, got all my wee jobs done, and settled to my laptop by 10.30am. There was very little else I needed to do apart from write. So did I? Did I knickers. This is especially annoying as there's a project I'm keen to finish. A long project. The end is in sight - I just need a final couple of bursts to get it done.

But, instead of getting to down to work, I surfed the net. I visited blogs. I read emails. At one point I even did some housework. And here we are, at the start of a brand new day, and nothing's been added to my project.

Sadly, I have to face the uncomfortable truth I write best when I should be doing something else. Surely that has to be the ultimate in procrastination?

So, today, I plan to finish my tax return. That should ensure I'll get some words written.

Something to look forward to

2011-08-06T14:20:00.004+01:00

An email doing the rounds at work: With age, a lady will find her legs become naturally less hairy. This is useful because she will then have more time to tend the newly sprouted moustache and beard.
Isn't it great being a woman?

Falling out of love with my Christmas Kindle

2011-08-01T21:35:00.002+01:00

Finally Blogger has decided to keep me logged in, so I can comment this evening (so far only on my own blog, but I'm hopeful it will last). Here, as promised, is my Kindle post:

That honeymoon didn't last long. Don't get me wrong, I'm still fond of the Kindle's good points - particularly the germ free reading and the knowlege nobody will ever again be able to throw my entire book collection into a skip (we all know what happened, so I'm not going to keep going on about it, but there are some things a person should never forgive).

But, but, but...

As the weeks have gone on, I've identified things I'm not too happy with:

It's awkward to hold. Several times, as I've drifed off to sleep, it's fallen and hit me in the eye. A real book has never done that.
The Kindle is a machine. I've heard stories - horror stories - of people being left with NOTHING TO READ when their Kindles have broken down.
Cost of books: Some of the Kindle versions can cost as much as or slightly more than the paperback version. I know there's VAT on Kindle books. But there are no printing costs, distribution costs, storage costs or costs associated with shelf space, so the old-bag-book-keeper in me thinks this is ludicrous and unfair.
The American version, I believe, allows friends and family to borrow books. I wouldn't lend a book out illeagally, ever. But, as the technology's available, it would be nice if I could let friends borrow books from my Kindle, just as they can with my real life library.
Worryingly, there have been reports Amazon have taken to sensoring books retrospectively. Or deleting books altogether. They've always had a good excuse, either the material is questionable or there's a query over rights. But the very fact they are able to do this worries me. This is the equivalent of them knocking at the door to demand the return of a real book - and I've never heard of that happening.
A Kindle doesn't feel like a real book. It doesn't smell like a real book. It doesn't give me goosebumps when I pick it up, like a real book does.
This is what's disturbed me most I think: Amazon have gone all 1984ish and are spying on our reading habits through our Kindles. When we download books, information must be fed in the opposite direction, too, because they can show me passages that other readers have highlighted. They know what I read and when - and probably use the information as a force for evil, relentlessly marketing. I'm not fond of being spied on.
And I've been left wondering, if I download my own work onto my Kindle so I can read before submitting, will Amazon be tempted to fiddle with that? I know that makes me sound big headed - surely Amazon have much better things to do than fiddle with my WIPs. But, when I was a teenager, I asserted my individuality by wearing a variety of badges on my school blazer - one of my favourites announced: 'Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me'. And it's true.

Having said all that, I think the Kindle is a great supplement to real books. I'll certainly be hanging onto mine for dear life - particularly for the convenience of having so many book in such a small space. But, if I'm considering a book that costs more than a few pounds, or a book I know is a keeper, I'll be going the real route every time.

#MarryingCadeWave Stop Eight

2011-07-13T15:00:00.001+01:00

It’s launch day for Sally Clements’ new book, Marrying Cade, and to celebrate, she’d having a Mexican wave of excerpts! You can keep up with the wave’s progress on the twitter hashtag #MarryingCadeWave – and add a tweet with the hashtag to chat with everyone else who’s reading along!

Here’s how to do it…these are the stops, just call in to these blogs to read each excerpt (they start at stop one, and finish at stop ten). Alternatively, start wherever, and click on the next stop link at the bottom of the excerpt. Or just click on the buy link, to get your own copy of Marrying Cade!

Stop One – Talli Roland’s blog

Stop Two – Maya Blake’s blog

Stop Three – Nas Dean’s blog

Stop Four – Joanne Coles’s blog

Stop Five – Romy Summers’ blog

Stop Six – Lorraine Wilson’s blog

Stop Seven – Joanne Pibworth’s blog

Stop Eight – Suzanne Jones’ blog

Stop Nine – Lacey Devlin’s blog

Stop Ten – Sally Clements’ blog

Stop Eight’s excerpt…

“Desperate to see you.” Melo’s mouth curved in a smile. “If she knew you’d arrived she’d be here to fetch you herself.” Her shoulders lifted and her open palms tilted upwards. “We’re under time pressure, so I didn’t tell her.”

Cade swallowed his wine and tried not to look at the siren Melo had become. Since the Alison fiasco, he’d been careful to keep his relationships casual. He’d thought he and Alison had an equal relationship, based on trust and mutual desires. He cared about her, had given her a platinum credit card, which she promptly proceeded to melt. It had taken mere days to track down her addictions. Roulette, haute couture, and cocaine. Cade had financed the most expensive rehab possible, but Alison’s bland statement she didn’t want to get better, she wanted to “have fun” had sent a steely javelin of ice through him, severing their connection irrevocably. He’d been a blind fool, but no more.

The world was full of beautiful women happy to share his bed, women who understood his aversion to forever. Melo was in a different category. They’d shared dreams and confidences when they were teenagers, and he’d never really thought of her as a female.

Thanks so much for being Stop Eight, Suzanne!

Buy links: Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, The Wild Rose Press

Before you go on to stop nine, Tweet this to help get the wave going! Now, continue on to Stop nine here!

Taking a break

2011-07-03T20:47:00.000+01:00

No, not referring to the magazine - I'm not talking to them since they stopped publishing fiction in their weekly magazine. I'm talking about a blogging break.

Thank you again for all your lovely messages on my recent posts. And special thanks to lovely Maria for your messages here and on my other blog - I'm sorry if I worried you. Even though I've been popping by all your blogs, I still can't log in to leave messages. Very infuriating.

I've followed advice. I've done stuff with cookies. I've got someone who knows what he's doing to do stuff with cookies. I've checked and unchecked boxes. I've deleted internet histories and done stuff with something called a 'c cleaner'. And still I can't leave messages on my own or anyone else's blogs.

Am too old for this and getting very fed up now. So - especially as Daughter's school broke up last week - I've decided to take a bit of a break over the summer, with the hope the internet stuff sorts itself out while I'm away. Otherwise, I'll join the increasingly large numbers defecting to Wordpress.

So there.

My promised post about my Christmas Kindle will be written eventually, but after such a long build up it's bound to be a disappointment :0)

I wish you lots of sunshine and many happy days - and I'll see you all soon.

XX

The Versatile Blogger - Part 2

2011-06-04T12:22:00.002+01:00

I haven't been ignoring you all. Sadly, like many others, I'm unable to comment on blogs at the moment - even my own. It's driving me mad. I can't even reply to messages, but thank you to everyone who dropped by, whether you were able to comment or not.

Thank you also to lovely Teresa and lovely Patsy for nominating me for The Versatile Blogger award. In this, part two of my acceptance, I'm listing - as promised - 7 reasons I know my backside's too big (I'm sure you've been waiting with bated breath for this):

One of the first questions my daughter asked was: "Why is it that when you just stand there your bottom just keeps going back?" She was too tiny for it to have been anything other than a valid query. I was crushed.
Once, in a lift, I was asked to step further into the compartment because my behind was stopping the doors from closing.
The dent in the sofa. It's very large.
The size of my trousers. They're very big.
I knock stuff over with my backside even when I'm miles away.
It has been estimated by experts that I could live for three years by using the fat stored in my backside.
When I bend over, there's likely to be a total eclipse of the sun.

I could go on - about the large gaps I can't squeeze through, about the fact a family of five could use my knickers to camp in, the 27 piece bathing suit I need for the beach and more... but it's all too depressing.

Instead, I'm going to announce Wendy's winner. A few posts ago, Wendy S Marcus announced a competition to win a copy of her book and now she's chosen a winner: Susan Jones. No, that's not me - I didn't enter (because it wouldn't be ethical and anyway I already have a copy of Wendy's book) and Susan isn't a relative. Huge congratulations, Susan, I hope you enjoy the book as much as I did.

Next time: Falling out of love with my Christmas Kindle.

Write to be Published and details of a Minxy contest

2011-05-22T17:45:00.002+01:00

She says she's a Crabbit Old Bat, but I've met her at the Edinburgh International Book Festival, and I happen to think she's lovely. She knows her writing stuff, too, and is very generous with advice, as any of you who follow her blog will know. I'm talking, of course, about Nicola Morgan. The good news is Nicola has written a book full of advice on how you can 'make a publisher say Yes'. I now have my very own signed copy of Write to be Published, but was lucky enough to be picked to read it pre publication and you can find out what I thought here (scroll down, I'm there near the bottom of the page). It's a terrific book, very readable, humorous and it details a number of ways you might improve your submission to increase your chance of publication.

In other news, the Minxes are still celebrating their first birthday You can join in the fun and find out how to enter our Grand Prize Contest here (don't tell the rest of them, but I think I've just given you the answer to the contest question in these few lines - oops).

Finally, I'm still preparing that post of seven reasons I know my backside's too big. If I'm honest, I'm finding it hard to narrow it down to only seven. You may or may not be interested, but be warned, that list will be posted soon.

A Mother’s Day Mishap - Guest Post by Wendy S Marcus

2011-05-18T06:06:00.019+01:00

Today, I'm delighted to welcome Wendy S Marcus to my blog. Wendy's first book for Harlequin, a Medical Romance, is a terrific read and Wendy's offering you a chance to win a copy - read on for details.

Thank you for popping by, Wendy - it's great to see you here.

Hi Suzanne and Friends!

I’m so happy to be here for the third stop on my blog tour to promote my debut Harlequin Medical Romance, WHEN ONE NIGHT ISN’T ENOUGH, currently available on the Mills and Boon Website and releasing in Australia and the U.S. in July 2011.

So what have I chosen to talk about? A Mother’s Day mishap. And how does this relate to my writing? You’ll have to read on to find out.

This past Mother’s Day (the second Sunday in May here in the U.S.) was a little sad. For the first time since I became a mom one of my children wasn’t home to celebrate with me. My oldest daughter started college this year and, while I’m no longer standing in her bedroom clinging to images of her lying in bed and I’ve stopped inhaling the air in a futile attempt to detect the lingering scent of the incense she loves, I miss her.

When I hadn’t heard from her by nine in the evening, I told my husband to call to remind her to call me and wish me a Happy Mother’s Day…making no mention of the sad fact I’d received no card and she seemed to have forgotten me altogether.

“I feel terrible,” she says before I even finish my hello. “I ordered you a special present and I paid extra to have it delivered on Mother’s Day. I keep checking and they haven’t confirmed delivery. I don’t know what happened.”

I could tell she felt bad. “Don’t worry, honey. These things happen. I’m not upset. I can’t wait to get the package. Thanks so much for thinking of me.”

We chatted for a while. She called the company and got a refund for the special shipping she’d paid and was told the package would be shipped on Monday. So imagine my surprise when I returned home from some errands on Monday afternoon to find a large box of flowers on my kitchen table. (Brought in by my son.)

Thrilled, I ripped into the box then snipped the ends off my beautiful buds and ran water into the shapely pink vase that accompanied them. At the same time my youngest daughter explored the chocolates and sniffed the lavender bath salts. Lovely!

Then I found the card. Dear Mom, Thank you for all the wonderful things you do for us. I love you. Love, Nate.

Nate? Who the heck was Nate?

Eyes wide I sucked in a breath. “Oh no,” I said to my youngest daughter. “These flowers aren’t for me. I just snipped the ends off Nate’s mother’s flowers and you,” I pointed an accusing finger, “just ate one of her chocolates.”

We both started to laugh.

I checked the label on the box. Sure enough, it was addressed to me. We called my other daughter to confirm what she’d ordered and that I’d received the right package. I had. But it was accompanied by the wrong card.

“So what did your card say?” I asked.

“Dear Mom. Don’t be mad I bought these on sale. Happy Mother’s Day. Love, Rebecca.”

While I was pleased my frugal daughter hunted down a bargain and didn’t waste her hard earned cash on me, I felt terrible for Nate’s mom. Not only did she miss out on the lovely sentiment in the card meant for her, but she learned her stingy son brought her Mother’s Day present on sale.

In the end I found the entire situation quite amusing.

So, in answer to your question, what does this have to do with writing? Anything I find the least bit entertaining becomes fodder for my stories. And, as I begin work on my third book, I’m already thinking of a way to work this card switch into one of my scenes.

Before I go I’d like to invite you to my website to read an excerpt from WHEN ONE NIGHT ISN’T ENOUGH here. While you’re there, check out my Home page to see how you can enter a contest to win an Amazon gift card.

And, if you’re interested in a chance to receive free copy of my 2in1 UK debut, which includes a full novel by Janice Lynn, read the excerpt and e-mail me the answer to this question: What is Dr. Padget’s pet name for nurse Ali Forshay? My e-mail can be found on my Contact page. Be sure to put Suzanne’s Blog in the subject line. One winner will be chosen on Friday.

Now, for a couple of questions to get some conversation started. Have you ever read a Harlequin Medical Romance? If so, what did you think? If no, why not? And are you willing to make mine your first? And what do you think of the card switch idea for my upcoming story? Any suggestions you’d like to share?

Wendy S. Marcus lives in upstate New York with her husband, two of her three children, and a much loved Bichon Frise named Buddy. A nurse by trade, after years of working in the medical profession, Wendy has taken a radical turn to writing hot contemporary romance with strong heroes, feisty heroines, and lots of laughs. When she’s not writing, she enjoys spending time with her family and blogging/e-mailing/tweeting with her online friends. To learn more about Wendy visit her website, http://www.WendySMarcus.com.

Locked Out, Minxy Birthday Gifts and Awards

2011-05-14T21:07:00.005+01:00

You might think I would have done some writing when I was locked out of Blogger over the past few days – but you’d be wrong. I strongly believe that if you carry out the same procedure countless times, you will eventually get a different outcome (who said that was the definition of madness?). I was proved right when, on the millionth attempt, I was able to log in.

Thankfully, all seems to be well now, and the problem means the deadlines for the competitions to win my Minxy Birthday Gift and Rae Summers' Minxy e-book have been extended until tomorrow – winners will be announced on Monday. Pop over to the Minxes’ blog now, for details of this and other great Birthday Prizes.

And, now we’re all safely back, I’d like to thank lovely Teresa and lovely Patsy for nominating me for the Versatile Blogger award.

As a condition of accepting, I now have to tell you 7 things about myself. This time I’m going to restrict it to food:

1. When there’s a choice, I always choose sweet over savoury. Sometimes, when we’re eating out, I even order a starter instead of a main so I can have a big pudding.

2. I like tomato soup, I like tomato sauce. But I don’t like tomatoes. Never have done. I think it’s the seeds.

3. If I’d married the man who killed two of his wives with poisonous mushrooms and the third with a hammer because she wouldn’t eat the mushrooms (I think it was a joke), I’d have been the one he killed with a hammer. I don’t like mushrooms. It’s the taste and the texture – and the fact I would be eating fungus.

4. I don’t like most fruit or veg. Even the ones I do like seem like a chore, so I always eat them first so I can enjoy the rest of my meal.

5. As far as I’m concerned, nuts in chocolate is a crime against nature.

6. However, everything else is improved by adding chocolate into the equation. I frequently get my ‘five-a-day’ through eating chocolate covered treats (chocolate raisins, Bounty, Chocolate Orange, Fry’s Orange Cream, fruit fondants...).

7. Cooking isn’t my strong point. But I’m great at reheating ready meals.

As I was nominated for the award twice, I will be listing another seven facts soon: 7 reasons why I know my backside’s too big.

Next Wednesday: Wendy S Marcus will be blogging here, and she’ll be giving details of how you can win a copy of her fabulous debut Medical Romance for Harlequin, WHEN ONE NIGHT ISN’T ENOUGH.

A wedding - and a bit of a mystery

2011-05-04T01:20:00.005+01:00

Yes, I'm talking about that wedding (even though I promised I wouldn't). After all my big talk of avoiding it, we ended up watching some of the Royal Wedding live, after all. We were invited to a friend's house and Daughter was keen to go in case there was drink. This was wrong in many ways, not least because the party started at 10.30 am - and she's only 14 (and wouldn't have been allowed to drink whatever the time of day). But, as I was quite keen to get her away from Portal 2 - which she's played right the way through at least twice since it was released - we went.

Despite my cynicism, I thought the bride was lovely and I'm glad it didn't rain. But didn't our dear Queen look grumpy?

And what's with all this criticism of the poor Beckhams? For goodness sake, leave them alone. Who cares if he shouldn't have worn his medal - he was gorgeous. And her dress wasn't funeral black - it was blue. And she was gorgeous, too. And, a pregnant lady's allowed to be miserable - particularly if she has to sit for hours without access to a loo.

I'm still cynical - still suspect the wedding date was orchestrated to make us forget the economic climate for a day or two. And wasn't it convenient they chose a day when nothing else happened in the entire world for our newscasters to report?

We did get a bit bored half way through, and popped up the The Body Shop, where I was relieved of a small fortune. I don't know if every branch is the same, but our local one employs the loveliest staff imaginable - the downside is they're killer sales people. You go in for a present costing £15, as we did, and leave with a bagful of stuff. But I saved £20, so that's alright.

However, there was another local party on Friday I wish I'd been asked to: A group of middle aged women gathered together, dressed in their own wedding dresses, to watch the ceremony. I'm mightily miffed I wasn't included - never mind I didn't actually know the hostess or any of the guests. I love my wedding dress and hardly ever get to wear it these days. It's ankle length and ivory so not really the kind of thing you can wear to Sainsbury's. I'm thinking I might even have to get married again, just so I can give it another outing.

And the mystery? I was eating Smarties in the car while waiting for Daughter to finish a dance class (less than 200 calories and, if you eat them one by one, they last for ages - definitely worth it), when one missed my mouth. I know, how can anything miss a mouth this big? It landed on my seat and I don't know yet what happened to it after that. I suspect it's been absorbed into my giant arse and been converted directly to fat. Nothing like cutting out the middle man.

Finally, next time, I'll be accepting an award (thank you, lovely Teresa for the nomination).

Blogging at the Minxes of Romance

2011-04-25T15:17:00.003+01:00

I've just popped a post on the Minxes' site - I'd love to see you there if you fancy hopping over.

Preview?

2011-04-19T21:55:00.003+01:00

I know this is a complete rip off of JK Wedding Entrance, but it made me smile.

Wouldn't it be great if they did that for real on the 29th?

Thanks to lovely Bernadette - and a completely unrelated shock

2011-04-14T22:16:00.000+01:00

In yet another example of how terrific womag writers are, lovely Bernadette has sent me a copy of That's Life Fast Fiction. Even if I don't always have time to read them (which explains why I have piles of magazines everywhere) I buy most issues of most British magazines - at least the ones that carry short stories. But obviously, the overseas publications aren't so easy to come by, so huge thanks to Bernadette for this. I'm planning a couple of happy reading hours tomorrow (with my feet up and a box of chocolates).

And the shock? In the past week, two people have expressed surprise that I need to declare writing income for tax purposes. They both thought any income from short stories and the other bits and pieces I've managed to sell would be exempt. I wish.

(And, to reassure any lurking taxman - my records are up to date and meticulously prepared.)

Spooky Biscuits - a character coincidence

2011-04-07T21:28:00.009+01:00

I have a story in this week's People's Friend:
- Domesticating Edwin.

Edwin started life as Edward, but the editors at the magazine, for some reason, changed it. I have no complaints at all about this - they know what they're doing. And I'm so delighted they bought and published the story they're more than welcome to make any changes they want.

But, the fact they've used Edwin has spooked me a bit - because it was my dad's name. He was known by his middle name (just as I'm known by mine - must be a family thing), but his real first name was Edwin. He died more than a decade ago, but he would have been celebrating his 70th birthday this month.

Normally, I shy away from naming characters after people I know, so I'd never have used Edwin in a story. But I do quite like the fact one of my characters ended up with this name.

The Edwin in the story is nothing like my father, but he is (I hope, it's difficult to be unbiased when it's my story) a lovely character - and I like to think my dad would have approved.

7 Writing Facts

2011-04-02T20:15:00.004+01:00

Before I start, I'd like to point you over the the Minx blog, where we're involved in an April Word Count Challenge. Lacey's made some great blog badges and we would love it if you'd join in.

And now, awards:

I do love being nominated for awards. I may be rubbish as following the rules associated with them and I might wuss out of nominating blogs to pass them on to, but the buzz from realising that a fellow blogger likes you enough to nominate you is hard to beat.

Lovely Gaelikaa nominated me for a Stylish Blogger award a couple of posts back. True to form, I abused the rules and, instead of posting seven little known facts about myself (impossible with the amount of talking I do), I decided to list seven of my favourite things. I've been nominated for the same award three more times, by Penandpaints, Lacey and Gail - and I hope they won't mind if I bend the rules again. This time, I'm going to list 7 personal writing facts:

When I was a teenager, I once wrote my name and address on a piece of paper, popped it into a bottle and threw it into the sea. Nobody ever wrote back.
I used to love writing letters. I had 10 penfriends at one point. Even more than writing letters, I loved to receive letters - my heart rate would increase to an alarming pace whenever I heard the postman at the door.
The first few short stories I ever had published were under a pen name - which I had to rapidly abandon when a much more successful writer started using the same name.
My first language is Welsh. The Welsh alphabet differs significantly from the English one - and I experienced a number of difficulties when I first started to write in English. In fact, I still can't spell properly and frequently include an abundance of 'e's where no 'e' should be.
Every penny of my writing income has been absorbed into the housekeeping. I keep meaning to save it for a treat - but those bills just keep piling up. Maybe if I ever get that multi million pound two-book offer I'll be able to splash out on something nice.
Even though I write for money, it's not the only reason I write - as we all know, there are much easier ways to earn significantly more. To be honest, I think it's an illness.
Recently, I've started writing to various womags, suggesting they bring back fiction. I know it might be cheaper to fill page after page with celebrity news compiled by staff writers, but I'm fed up of reading those pages. Besides, we need more markets for our short stories. As yet, I have received no response. And no, none of them have brought back fiction.

So, that's it. Oddly, I feel I could write more than 7 writing facts, but that really would be pushing the rules, I feel. Thank you again, for the nominations.

What little known writing fact about yourselves would you all like to share?

A very Hot Scotsman and a nasty green coat

2011-03-29T17:57:00.005+01:00

Yes, I know, this was supposed to be an award acceptance. I haven't forgotten, my acceptance is imminent, but I have news.

Can you guess who won the Minxy Hot Scotsman poll?

I'll give you a clue - the result has made me very happy.

You can find out if your guess is right by clicking here.

Just goes to show I'm not the only one with good taste.

But, while I may have impeccable taste where hot men are concerned, my fashion sense leaves a lot to be desired.

I've just discovered there was an over zealous photographer at one of my 14-year-old's school concerts - not only did he photograph the children, he also snapped at the audience. My ugly mug is now part of a framed collage, adorning the walls of the music department - and it's huge. Life-size at least. Even worse, I was wearing my new good coat - a loud green one. You can't miss me - I stand out like a giant, fat pea. There's nothing else for it, I'm going to have to put my coat on a bonfire - I hate it so much now. And I'm thinking of asking the music teachers if they can set fire to the photo, too.

Next time: award acceptances and seven personal writing facts.

A Happy Post

2011-03-19T20:51:00.004Z

Birthday festivities are over for another year. Yes, I had a good day at last - hooray. And, after our seemingly never ending winter, the promise of spring has arrived. The quality of our daylight's changed and, while there's still the odd frosty morning and snow on the Ochil Hills, there's also hope as daffodils and crocuses peek through at last.

To add to my happy mood, people can be wonderful. Particularly blogging people. After all your good wishes on my last post, I was given further proof of this when a large envelope arrived from Australia. Inside the envelope? A copy of That's Life! issue 7 - the one my last story was published in. We were expecting it to be in issue 6, but lovely, lovely Elissa Graham went to the trouble of finding exactly when it would be published, buying the magazine and sending it over.

And all I can do is offer an inadequate, but heartfelt, thanks to Elissa.

In other news: The diet lives on. Only one problem - as the pounds slowly drop off, so my face collapses a little more. I strongly suspect all the money I'm saving on chocolate will have to be invested in Botox.

Next post will be awards time again. I'm already preparing my thank you speech along with 7 (loosely based) writing facts (yes, I'm bending the rules again - hope nobody minds).

Birthdays - lots of them (all mine) - and Writing Again

2011-03-04T16:45:00.009Z

It was my birthday last week. It wasn't happy. It was a horrible day. Recently, we seem to have lurched from one crisis to another in this house - I was so busy wishing evil upon the heads of those responsible for this latest episode (I'm not very nice when angry), I completely ruined my own special day. And I gave myself a headache.

So, I've declared every day since an additional birthday. And I'll continue to celebrate birthdays until I get a day I actually enjoy. The mood I'm in, I suspect I could be into my hundreds very soon.

This, of course, gives me licence to forget the diet. Birthdays aren't birthdays without cake and chocolate.

As for the writing, well, how big headed is it of me to admit I wrote a brilliant short story the other day? After months of inability to put words on the screen, everything about this story just worked instantly. I loved writing it and knew in my bones it was a winner.

So I sent it off straight away (you know where I'm going with this, don't you?).

I was still jolly pleased with it the following day, so I decided to entertain myself by reading it again over lunch.

BIG MISTAKE.

It's the worst kind of rubbish imaginable.

Poor, poor fiction editor.

And poor, poor deluded me.

I'm still cringing.

Secrets Revealed – Learning Things From Libraries and Playbuses - guest post by Judy Jarvie

2011-02-28T00:44:00.000Z

Big thanks to Suzanne for letting me drop by and talk about my current releases, Nanny Behaving Badly and Flirting With The Fireman.

I thought I’d combine with a post that relates to both. Real Life Research.

Both books are linked to personal past experiences. Okay fantasised and fictionalised versions of past experience - but there is a grain of experience in there at the core.

They always say write about what you know – and while I’ve never been a nanny who’s had a wild affair with her sexy rally driving boss, nor have I been wound up and wooed by a handsome firefighter best man – I do have experiences of both worlds!

I worked in a library:

I strongly believe this led me to write about a librarian heroine and the librarian bridesmaid issue was the very first inspiration for Flirting With The Fireman. The bestman firefighter hero came later. As did the email sparring, the mishap encounters and all the other crazy things that happen in Flirting With The Fireman.

I do think that working in a library, even though I was just a young schoolgirl helper, equipped me to write about Flick. I know her working day and in some ways I walked in her shoes so she was a dream to write.

I worked on a playbus whilst a student:

Yep. Embarrassing confession time but while I was studying my English degree I took a job as a summer kids’s playscheme worker and I was placed on a towncentre playbus. It was a blast! And in some ways that madcap summer – dare I admit it, I had to be dressed up as a vivid furry pink pelican to entice youngsters onto the bus – led me to rebel quirky heroine Maddie Adams. It was a fun but crazy time – and that’s what Maddie and Lyle’s adventure to love is. Crazy madness and a fast track speed circuit to love.

Anyway - I loved writing both books because I really enjoyed developing these characters and walking in their shoes. It's nice to take something from your own life and then give it a whole new direction.

You can find out more about both books at my website .

Nanny Behaving Badly – Now available from Embrace Books

Flirting With The Fireman – The Wild Rose Press – out now.

These are a few of my favourite things...

2011-02-19T16:30:00.002Z

Having run out of inspiration for my blog posts, I'm very grateful to lovely Gaelikaa for nominating me for the Stylish Blogger Award, and thereby giving me the opportunity to divulge seven secrets about myself. Trouble is, I talk so much there's very little left to say that you don't already know. So, I'm going to adapt this and list some of my favourite things instead:

The 14-year-old. Even when she's being as horrid as only a 14-year-old can be.
Books. In any form. E or normal. I'm of the opinion that you can't have too many books. I buy them obsessively, compulsively at every opportunity. I think it's an illness.
Sleep. Having recently been cured of a 30 year bout of anaemia, my energy levels were through the roof. However, just a lottery winner's happiness levels will return very quickly to their natural state, so has my energy. And now I'm tired all the time. Again. I've always functioned on very little rest - not much choice, really - but I do still yearn for an entire week when I need to do nothing but sleep.
Writing. Most of you are writers, so no explanation needed.
Chocolate. Chocolate. More chocolate. (I'm a fondant girl if anyone's offering.) Yes, the diet is still on, but my love of chocolate is threatening to sabotage the strict calorie rationing.
Friends - blogging and real-life.
Er...that's about it for now - if I'm honest, most things irritate me (I think it's my age), so the fact I've managed to find six things I'm fond of is something of a miracle in itself.

As is usual with blog awards, I'm supposed to pass this on, but I always find it very difficult to nominate people. First of all, there are so many blogs I love. Secondly, even though I'm always delighted to be nominated, I'm always worried I'll offend someone by forcing them to take part in something they'd rather not do. So, I'm going to take the cowardly custard's way out again: If any of you fancy giving this a go, then feel free to consider yourselves nominated.

Judy Jarvie asked me to announce the winner of her competition...Congratulations to Joanne C. Judy tells me the fireman calendar, mousemat and a mystery treat are winging their way to you, as I write.

Next time: Judy Jarvie will be back to talk about her new book involving a fiesty nanny and the kind of hero one can only dream of meeting in the real world.

Men In Uniform – Can You Resist? - guest post by Judy Jarvie

2011-02-10T06:00:00.008Z

Please welcome my lovely friend, Judy Jarvie, who is here to talk about her new book, Flirting With The Fireman, and with details of her other new release, Nanny Behaving Badly. So, without further delay, over to Judy:

Are you a sucker for a uniform? And I don’t mean a traffic warden or lollypop man.

Do you flutter at the thought of a firefighter? Or does a cop make you coo wistfully?

Well until Flirting With The Fireman I didn’t realise I had a thing for uniformed hunks. But clearly I must. Because I love Rod McAllister my firefighter hero. Even though I had no intention of writing about a fireman at all.

Flirting With The Fireman is the story of the cyber and social struggles of librarian and reluctant bridesmaid Flick Truro and the hottest firefighter best man in town – Rod McAllister

In fact Rod reminded me that in my twenties I once went to a FireStation Disco with a bunch of girlfriends. Not one of us met a dashing pole-descending beau. Maybe that’s why I’d forgotten all about it. I blotted out the failure.

But Rod brings back those hankerings. He’s hot, he drives a firetruck, he’s full of sass and charm and the whole town of Raynesford love him. Except Flick Truro. Oh no. She’s as anti-Rod as it gets.

And there’s the rub now that she’s a bridesmaid and he’s best man with attitude. They’re stuck with each other and they’ll have to iron out their differences before something flammable occurs.

You’ll have to buy Flirting With The Fireman to find out more.

Big thanks to my special buddy (and she’s a very very special lady) Suzanne for letting me drop by to announce a giveaway as part of my brief Blog Conga.

You could win (drum roll)

A Firefighter Calendar (yes, really!)

A Flirting With The Fireman Mousemat

Here’s the question to answer (psst – you’ll find the answer on my website excerpt – www.judyjarvie.com). Either leave a comment here or leave one on my blog.

Q: What book does Flick threaten to make Rod read?

Flirting With The Fireman was released by The Wild Rose Press on 28 January. You can find out more here .

LIBRARIAN BRIDESMAID versus FIREFIGHTER BEST MAN

Cyber sparks...combustible consequences

Felicity Truro's diary is fast filling up with problems. First there's the ugliest bridesmaid's dress in the world, then there's her sick aunt's serious secret. But it's Rod McAllister, the handsome firefighter best man with attitude, who's melting her willpower and frazzling her nerves the most.

Can Flick survive being a bridesmaid for the eleventh time whilst falling for the groom's aide for real? And how will she cope when Rod needs a stand-in and she's promoted to top of the candidate list?

And if you enjoy Flick and Rod’s story - on February 14th my release from Embrace Books, Nanny Behaving Badly, will be launched. See http://www.judyjarvie.com/ for more information!

Thanks for dropping by, Judy, it was great to hear more about Rod and Flick.

Judy will be back in a couple of weeks to talk about Nanny Behaving Badly.

The secret of my miracle weight loss and some writing news

2011-02-06T17:15:00.053Z

A lament about the giant size of my behind is a regular occurrence on this blog, so you won't be a surprise to learn I have a weight problem.

But you might be shocked to learn exactly how big that problem was: 40 lbs big, in fact.

At the beginning of this year, I weighed more that I did while I was at my most pregnant. I was fat then - my feet went up from a four to a seven. And they had to open the delivery access at work so I could waddle to my office as I couldn't fit through the turnstiles (ironically, I worked in a university sports centre). Yes, I had pre-eclampsia, but fluid retention couldn't explain all the extra pounds. And my baby was only 5lbs 11oz, so I couldn't blame her, either.

Anyway, I did manage to shift the baby weight eventually. So you can imagine how horrified I was, 14 years later, to find myself back at square one + a little extra.

And this time, I couldn't use pregnancy as an excuse.

So I decided to do something about it: I ate less and moved more.

But the weight didn't come off.

I toyed with the idea I might have a magic metabolism. A secret way of storing energy that was still a mystery to medical science. To prove this point, I started keeping a food diary - I wrote down every little thing I ate, every creme egg, every tiny biscuit, every chocolate bar...

The result was a shaming eye-opener. I ate a lot. An awful lot.

And I hadn't realised.

Something had to change, so, under my new eating regime, I still make a note of everything I eat and, when I get to between 1,500 and 2,000 calories, I stop eating for the day. Some days this can be as early as noon.

When you think about it, the wonder isn't that I'm fat, but that I'm not even fatter. I must have a miracle metabolism, after all, but one that burns up food faster than it should - without it I'd weigh at least twice what I do.

On the negative, my new diet means I'm constantly hungry. All I think about it food. I salivate over photographs of recipes in glossy magazines. I nearly pass out with excitement when a late night MacDonald's advert is aired on tv. And all I talk about is what I can eat next - and when.

On the positive, I've lost 7lbs in the past four weeks. Plus, I'm saving a lot of money - my chocolate cupboard hasn't needed to be restocked since I started this. And I'll soon be able to wear the clothes I haven't been able to squeeze myself into for years.

So worth persevering, I think, even if I do now only have one topic of conversation.

In other news, another story sold to The People's Friend this week. I'm hoping this will give me the kick up the giant backside I need to get writing again. I haven't written anything of any significance since my ex husband died. There have been excuses: we were upset, then snow disrupted everything, then Christmas...but we're now into February and I'm still not writing. So, no more procrastinating, I hereby pledge that I will have written a new short story by this time next week.

Still talking about writing: For those of you who haven't already been over, you must visit Teresa Ashby's latest blog post where she discusses rejections. The terrific advice is valid for everyone who writes and submits their work for publication.

Finally, news of a blog visitor. A very good friend of mine will be calling by next Thursday to talk about Men In Uniform - and there will be a chance to win prizes. This is the first time I've hosted a visitor and I hope you'll all pop by and make her feel welcome.

See you all soon.

XX

Thoughts about my Kindle

2011-01-30T18:46:00.026Z

Long after Santa headed back to the North Pole, his elves were still busy, battling their way through frozen Fife on his behalf. Finally, two weeks after Christmas, they made it to our home - and brought my Christmas Kindle.

Excitement was not the word. I'd been told on Christmas Day what I was to expect and had whipped myself up into a total frenzy by the time I actually got my grubby mitts on it.

And it's everything I ever dreamed it would be:

1. It can hold 3,500 books. Can you imagine that? That's probably more than I currently own. Not that I'm going to get rid of my collection, but at least we won't be in danger of being buried alive when I bring more into the house.

2. I know nobody has turned the pages of the book I'm reading:

a. While sitting on the toilet.
b. In a shop without washing their hands after going to the toilet.
c. After touching money (probably more germs on money than on a toilet seat).

Yes, my germ phobia rears its head. I'd just about managed to convince myself that any book that arrived in the post had only been handled by robots (yes, I know...). With the Kindle I know for sure that I'm not going to catch anything nasty from the pages.

3. If I want to buy a book, it can be delivered to my Kindle in less than a minute. And, thanks to a WiFi connection and one click ordering, I don't even have to get out of bed to go shopping.

I wasn't entirely convinced, at first, that it was as comfortable to hold as a traditional book. But you can change the orientation - and size - of the text. I have abnormally small hands for my height (fat, but small) and reading landscape is much, much easier. It also took me a while to get used to the fact it wasn't back-lit.

But the aim of the Kindle makers was that it should be invisible once the user was reading. Now that I'm used to it, it does what it says on the tin, and disappears completely and doesn't intrude on the reading experience in the slightest.

And I'm completely in love with it.

The only downside is it's all too easy to spend too much money buying books for it.
Next time: my miracle weight loss plan

Catching up

2011-01-23T18:10:00.004Z

How can it be so long since my last post? Where's the time gone? And how can we already be very nearly into the last week of January?

So, I've some catching up to do:

I was thrilled when PL Parker very kindly picked me as a winner for a copy of her book, Aimee's Locket. This is a terrific story and if any of you are looking for something to read, I can recommend it. Thank you, PL. It was the first book I loaded onto my shiny new Christmas Kindle.

Ages ago, I was tagged by delcatto (sorry it's taken so long, delcatto) to write about my blogging environment so, here goes:

floorboards
chair
knees
laptop
lamp
books
books
books
books....

That's about it. If any of you fancy doing the same, consider yourselves tagged.

In other news, I have a story in the current issue of The People's Friend - Arachnophobia. Being slightly nervous around the arachnid population myself, I'm quite fond of this story (is admitting you're fond of your own story the same as laughing at your own jokes, I wonder?). It's funny how ideas for stories work. This idea arrived as I listened to the Jeremy Vine show one afternoon (yes, I know, Radio Two - but I am middle aged). Jeremy's subject was phobias and a listener phoned in to complain about the eight-legged population in her new home, a converted barn in the country. She became the inspiration for Penny. I only wish ideas were always so easy to find. Perhaps I should listen to Jeremy Vine more often.

Next time: Why I love my Kindle.

What I did in the holidays...

2011-01-05T17:14:00.002Z

Not much if I'm honest: Sat, ate, watched tv, did very little writing.

As we'd been snowed in for the best part of the preceding month, most of us felt we'd already had our Christmas. We'd opened the first of several tins of Roses at the first sign of wintry weather, way back at the end of November. And, as the snow lingered over the festive period (and, in fact, lingers still, although it's now really dirty and yucky and icy and lethal), nobody much felt like celebrating.

So, the highlight was Christmas and New Year TV. Normally avoided like the plague in this house, but this year some forgotten gems were thrown my way. Including Strictly Ballroom, the 1992 Baz Luhrmann film starring the very lovely Tara Morice as Fran and the utterly gorgeous Paul Mercurio as Scott.

I'd forgotten how much I love this film. It's such a simple love story, but beautifully told. And there's dancing aplenty. Having watched Scott attempt the paso doble, Fran's grandma remarks: 'Hot Stuff might be able to shake his tail feather, but he knows chicken shit about rhythm.' While I wholeheartedly concur about Hot Stuff and his tail feather, I disagree about the chicken shit - the dancing is just stunning throughout. And I defy anyone not to experience an urge to applaud when the curtain comes down at the end.

Feelgood movies really don't come any better than this.

Please, don't watch this clip if you've never seen the film as it will ruin it for you, but, for everyone else, enjoy:

This new year, I plan to learn to dance the paso doble with a similar skill. Of course, my shockingly bad co-ordination might go against me. That and the fact all those tins of Roses have ensured my own tailfeather is now so big it has its own gravitational pull and no dancing partner would be able to lift me off the ground.

Happy New Year Everyone

2010-12-31T21:19:00.004Z

Thank you for your friendship and support in 2010.

I wish you all the lovely things you wish for yourselves in 2011.

Much love to you and your friends and families.

XX

2010: The Writing Year That Was...

2010-12-25T23:56:00.007Z

Okay, I know nobody likes smugness, but I'm pleased with my progress in 2010. I only hope I can keep up the momentum in 2011.

This is my 2010 writing year in numbers:

18 letters sold (Bella, best, that's life, Chat)
2 wise words sold (Prima)
5 handy hints sold (Take a Break and Prima)
11 short stories sold (The Weekly News, The People's Friend, That's Life (Australia))

Giving a total of 36 items bought and paid for. Well, most of them have been paid for. I'm still waiting for payment for a letter and a handy hint from the same publisher. I'm not going to name names, but I know this company has a habit of being slow to pay for short stories, too, so I'm not going to get my knickers in a twist just yet.

Biggest writing shock of 2010: best magazine changing the format of its letters' page so now it very often uses only ONE letter. This was one of my favourite markets - and it seemed to like me, even going so far as to give me a fairly regular star letter status. best even published two of my letters on one page in a single issue once. I had a great time writing in - offering minor celebrities unsolicited advice and opinions on everything including Beverly Callard's bridezilla behaviour, why I truly dislike Fiona Philips and why Coleen Nolan really needed to apologise to Heather Mills. As I said, a great time - and the cheques were a nice little bonus, too. Ah well, I suppose all good things must come to an end and writers must learn to diversify and find new markets. Besides, if I'm not obsessing about writing letters, I might be able to concentrate on the short stories and the novels.

Most exciting find of 2010: Regular visitors will know how obsessively I collect copies of my own published works. Narcissistic I know. But, as a hobby, it keeps me off the streets. And it makes me happy. But now I have a problem. That's Life in Australia are due to publish one of my stories soon - and, obviously, I want a copy of the magazine. Last time they published one of my stories, reader services very kindly sent me a copy, but as they refused to let me pay I'm loathe to ask again. Overseas subscription rates are very expensive, but, through the magic of Google, I've found a company who will send the latest issue (click here if you need to know). They can't guarantee specific issues, but with no other hope of getting a copy of the magazine they have to be worth a go.

Writing goals for 2011: As you may know, I'm not keen on announcing plans to the world as I've fallen flat on my face so many times it's not true. But, as stated above, I've given up on the letters for the time being and hope to be able to concentrate on longer work. So, I hope to sell more than 11 stories (big plan especially considering I only have one 'out there' just now). Wish me luck.

I'd love to hear about your plans for 2011 (writing or otherwise).

Warning: Grumpy Sue Time

2010-12-18T21:41:00.004Z

Yes, I feel a rant coming on.

Things that have upset me these past few weeks...

1. Pheasants. How stupid can these birds be? On a single day recently, I had to stop my car for three (this was a few weeks back now, admittedly, but they made a big impression). The first two looked bewildered and I had to drive around them. The third had the good sense to run - but not the wit not to run on the road, in front of my car, in the same direction I was driving. They do run fast, though, I'll give them that.

2. Coughing. Specifically, adults coughing over everyone and everything in sight without covering their mouths. Disgusting. Every time I go out, I seem to spend most of my time germ dodging. And I'm not much given to violence, but I could have happily swung for the man who spluttered with abandon over the fruit and veg in M&S the other day.

3. Cakes. Asda have been advertising a gorgeous looking daisy cupcake - so, of course, I had to buy. The cake is covered in luscious lemon butter icing and topped with an edible daisy. It almost looks too pretty to eat - and now I really wish I hadn't bothered trying. I had been expecting a spoonful of something sweet nestled in the cake - like the jam M&S have in their strawberry cupcakes. But no - nothing but boring sponge. A dollop of lemon curd would have transformed this from something ordinary to something spectacular, but without the lemon curd, the cake is, quite frankly, just not worth the calories.

4. Snow. Need I say more?

5. A spot on my chin. I'm too old for spots - so what's going on?

6. Writing - or, rather, not writing. I've lots of new short story ideas, but can't seem to commit them to paper. Ditto the book currently in progress. This is a medical - a partial has been requested by a well-known publisher, following submission of a chapter and a synopsis, but I have to finish the book first. And do you think I can? Not on your nelly. In theory and according to my typing speed, I should be able to write a 50K book in a little over twelve hours, so why can't I do it in practice?

7. Time. In that there isn't enough of it. I thought there was an extra week between now and Christmas. It's scary how quickly Christmas comes around every year.

8. Christmas. This is related to 7 and I'm thinking of only celebrating every two years from now on. I'm fed up of shopping. Fed up of crowds. Fed up of various online retailers using the weather as an excuse for poor service. And I'm not sending cards this year. That's how fed up I am.

9. And I'm fed up of the New Year.

10. John Barrowan. The 14-year-old was playing, with her school's jazz orchestra, at a couple of shopping centres in Glasgow on Monday. John Barrowman was shopping at one of these centres - the 14-year-old didn't see him, but her friend did AND got a hug and her photo taken with him. Daughter is devastated. I understand how she feels - I'm pretty miffed myself that I missed him.

To counterbalance all the grumpiness, I have a bit of good news. A story in the current issue of The People's Friend (dated 18/25 December). I'm so happy about this I actually managed to smile through my misery. The story was written the July before last and is about a girl who's snowed in over Christmas. How topical is that? And I'm beginning to scare myself with my undoubted psychic abilities - after all, whoever would have thought seventeen months ago that it would snow in December?

And the winners are...

2010-12-12T15:43:00.003Z

I've put the 14-year-old to work and she's picked out two winners for the dvds:

delcatto wins Calamity Jane.

And

...Petty Witter wins Four Weddings and a Funeral.

Congratulations both. If you can e-mail your addresses I'll pop your prizes in the post:
suzanne(at)jones4582(dot)freeserve(dot)co(dot)uk

Sorry everyone else - wish I had 15 prizes to give away (and maybe, by the time I've finished tidying up I will have). I hope to have another giveaway before too long.

Next post will be about things that have annoyed me these past few weeks. You have been warned.

Blog Giveaway

2010-12-07T20:32:00.004Z

And about time too. You lovely visitors have been popping by for over two years. And what do you get in return? Me whinging, that's what.

But that's going to change. I have gifts - two gifts that will be given to two visitors who leave a comment on this post.

I know this is a writing blog, so I should be giving away books, but I'm not. I'm giving away dvds.

There is a reason for this. A recent clear-out revealed many, many duplicates of a number of my dvds - including Four Wedding and a Funeral and Calamity Jane.

This does, I realise, highlight my dubious taste in films - and most of you will have already seen these. But they are two of my favourites (and I'm sure you're all well aware of my film tastes by now in any case).

Who couldn't love Doris Day in Calamity Jane? I defy anyone who's ever watched it not to sing along. And Howard Keel was never so gorgeous, or so alpha.

As for Four Weddings, well, although Andie MacDowell's character is horrible, and despite Alan Rickman not being in it, it's still a great film.

So, I'm giving away my duplicate copies. Both are brand new, still sealed in the cellophane they left the factory in and both are 'region two'.

All you have to do is leave a comment at the end of this post (just say 'hi' if you can't think of anything else) and I'll get the fourteen-year-old to pick two winners out of her top hat after midday next Sunday (12th December)

A mystery solved, News, John Barrowman and more...

2010-12-03T21:00:00.004Z

It wasn't the chocolate. The allergen that made my life a misery for the past while WASN'T THE FRUIT CREMES. So that's cheered me up no end. And the culprit? Persil Small & Mighty. Well done, Caroline, your suggestion it might be detergent was spot on.

The thing is, I boil wash my towels every day. Always have done. And I know that's not good for the environment, but - GERMS. Anyway, I happened to catch the machine in the act of doing a final rinse the other day, and the drum was still full of bubbles.

Despite only using the prescribed amount, Small & Mighty is so potent that even a two and a half hour cycle doesn't rinse away a tiny capful. So, the moral of the story is: If you live in a soft water area, use only a fraction of the amount. This is going to have an added benefit - a bottle will last at least twice as long and save me money.

That wasn't my news, though. No, my news is even better. And it's writing news. After a bit of a slow time hit wise, things are starting to pick up. I've sold two short stories (to The People's Friend and That's Life Australia). And another story published in The Weekly News a couple of weeks ago (thank you Bernadette for alerting me to that one).

Now NANO... Some of you may recall I made a bit of an idiot of myself last year. I was all talk. Shouted to anyone who'd listen about my plans to do the 50k words in 30 days - and didn't manage anything like. Then I declared Pseudo NaNo, where I participated in NaNo without the time pressure - er, I think that's called just normal writing. Anyway, another year, another plan. I was going to try writing the 50,000 words, but shared between several projects. As it happens that didn't get off the ground. But congratulations to all of you who did participate - I'd love to hear how you got on.

This is a longer post than usual - having been absent a while so have a lot to say and I'm afraid I'm nowhere near finishing yet.

New Voices: I know, I know, I promised not to mention it again. But the winner's been announced and how can I possibly not offer (very belated, sorry) congratulations to Leah Ashton. Loved the entry, can't wait to read the book.

Madeleine deserves a mention, too. She sent a lovely gift just for commenting on her blog. Hot chocolate, a notebook, pen, facemask and more... Thank you so much Madeline. It's always fun to receive a parcel, but even more so when it's filled with such lovely things.

Still under the heading 'The Blink Of An Eye' (see post before last), belated birthday wishes to my gorgeous nice, who celebrated her 21st birthday last month. TWENTY ONE - can't believe the years have flown by so fast.

Some of you might remember, I'd planned my third night with John Barrowman. Well, we went and it was...fantastic, fantastic, fantastic. But I did wonder...if a man in his mid forties can sing and dance, without the benefit of autotuning, miming, pre-recording or other such technological wizardry, for the best part of two and a half hours, why can't twenty something Cheryl Cole manage even one song without miming and an army of a supporting cast? They don't make entertainers like they used to.

Here's the lovely JB, filmed by CodenameSherry in Cardiff (we saw him in Edinburgh). Look out for the dancers' silver bikinis and purple feathers - the outfit the 14-year-old now covets for the Christmas Dance. I've said no.

Apologies for not calling by your blogs recently, but I'm hoping to catch up with everyone over the next few days.

And call back soon because next time I'll have news of a blog giveaway.

XX

Taking a Blogging Break

2010-11-18T16:20:00.004Z

I'm not going to be around for a while. My ex-husband died unexpectedly at the beginning of the month. It's been a bit of a shock and, although he was my ex, it's still hit me very hard and I feel incredibly sad. I'm going to take some time to support my daughter through this and I'll see you all as soon as I can.

XX

In the blink of an eye...

2010-10-24T18:50:00.003+01:00

From Baby:

To Fourteen:

Where does the time go?

Happy Birthday for last week, SweetPea.

When she was tiny, I often wondered what she'd be like when she grew. And I have to say I'm very pleased indeed with how she's turned out. She's funny, talented, intelligent and incredibly interesting to talk to. She's also bolshy and opinionated. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm always incredibly proud of her - even when she drives me mad.

The latest battle is over her choice of outfit for her school's Christmas dance. This is a formal occasion. Girls will be in smart dresses with shoes appropriate for country dancing. Boys will be in suits or kilts.

And my wee angel? Well she wants to wear this:

It's a very pretty dress - until you look closely and see that, intertwined with the roses, there are skulls.

And shoes appropriate for country dancing? She wants to wear her beloved Doc Martens:

Now, I'm the first to admit she'd look adorable in the outfit, but it definitely wouldn't be the school's idea of appropriate attire.

So, I've said no.

But being a doting mama, I've ordered the dress anyway. She can wear it for Halloween.

And now she says she want to make herself a dress for the Christmas dance - out of Duck Brand duct tape.

The battle rages on.

Sweet Friends

2010-10-22T12:07:00.000+01:00

Thank you to very lovely and very talented Teresa Ashby for nominating me for the Sweet Friends award. I'm really thrilled and, as a condition of accepting, I have to tell you six things about my writing. This is no hardship - anyone who visits regularly will know how much I like to talk about myself. So, here goes:

1. My first novel was painfully typed out on an Olivetti typewriter when I was 16. I could only work for a few hours in the evening because the sound travelled through the house and my mother wasn't sympathetic if kept awake. My cat, Oliver, hated that typewriter. He'd sit and watch the carriage move along and then, when the bell dinged and I hit return, he would rear up in fright and hiss at the machine. Famously, this novel was rejected practically before it arrived at the publisher's office.

2. I sold two of the first short stories I ever subbed, very quickly, when I was in my early twenties. Mentally I composed my resignation from the dreaded day job (yes, I hated that job, too), but thankfully had the good sense not to hand it in. I say thankfully because I didn't sell another story for years.

3. Reading about writing is my favourite activity of all. If I got rid of all my writing craft books I'm sure I'd manage to write a lot more than I do.

4. I get a huge narcissistic buzz from seeing my name (in fact, any of my names) in print. My joy is proportional to the length of the item in question. A tiny handy hint will make me happy. A letter will have me leaping in the air. A short story and my glee is barely contained. If anyone ever publishes any of my novels, I recommend the world run for cover, because I'll be unbearable.

5. This is linked to 4 - and I'm slightly ashamed to admit - I keep three copies of all my published work. The first is the magazine in question, unsullied and intact. The second is the cover page and the pages my own work appear on, lovingly salvaged and filed in a display book. The third, just my work. I'm planning a series of scrapbooks - one for each type of published work (short stories, articles, fillers, letters, handy hints). I don't know why I do this - nobody's bothered apart from me, and all I ever look at are the display books.

6. I write because I can't not write. But I trade my work for money. I know that's a terrible attitude and most of you will be cringing at that decidedly mercenary admission, but it's the truth. I could rant (again) about ex-husbands who haven't paid a penny in child support in over eight years, but the truth is that even if this wasn't a factor, I'd still only submit to paying markets (unless for charity). Writers deserve to be rewarded for their work just like everyone else and, if the staff take home a wage, I expect the publication to make payments to the writers, too.

I'm supposed to pick six bloggers to pass this award on to. But, how can I choose? So, if you fancy a go, consider yourself nominated.

Writing aside, the countdown is now on to my next night with John Barrowman - only weeks away. We have SECOND ROW SEATS. Will be almost close enough to touch. He says he won't send roses. I'm devastated. But look how pretty.

A reason to stop eating chocolate?

2010-10-10T11:01:00.004+01:00

This weekend I'm suffering an allergic reaction. I woke up yesterday to find my face, neck and hands were red, itchy and swollen.

Through sheer bloody mindedness, I've managed to prise my lenses into my tiny, piggy eyes, so at least I can see to write this. But contact with water is a hell of stinging. And as for face cream? Well, forget it.

By a process of elimination, I think I've worked out what's caused it: Summer Fruit chocolates from Thorntons.

Can you believe it? How, in the name of all that's holy, can I be allergic to chocolate?

Well, it can't be the face cream because I don't use that on my hands. And I haven't eaten anything else that's not on my usual menu.

So, it can only be the Summer Fruit chocolates.

Am devastated.

Throntons had a special offer: These chocolates had been reduced by two thirds - so I bought three bags (effectively a 'buy one get two free' offer - how could anyone resist?).

I ate the first bag in the car on Friday, while waiting for the 13-year-old to come out of school. And when I woke up yesterday I was red and puffy.

The second bag was eaten yesterday, while watching Calamity Jane (hooray, love Calamity Jane). And, this morning, I'm still red and puffy.

As an experiment, I intend to eat the third bag this afternoon (yes, I know, it really is perfectly obvious why I'm so fat). So, by Monday, I will be Summer Fruits-less. Therefore, if my face is still red on Monday, but is clear on Tuesday, that will suggest beyond doubt that it is the chocolates to blame.

So, will that mean I'll never eat Summer Fruit chocolates from Thorntons again? Will it knickers. Firstly they're fantastic value and, secondly, they taste really nice.

Besides, as we know, every cloud... My lips haven't been this full and bee stung since my teens. And my face might be swollen, but a good few wrinkles have been puffed out of existence. Could this be a cure for Computer Face (see last post)?

Allergies aside, I was going to try to make all my posts relevant to a writing blog from now on, but I don't have much to report. I'm still miffed that Best have changed their letters' page. Also still waiting for some short stories to be published. And I still need to write more. I'm hoping to write 10,000 words of my medical romance this week - I'll let you know how I get on.

How about you? What are your plans for the next few days?

Ah. So that's what's wrong with my face.

2010-10-02T16:32:00.003+01:00

Computer face. A new phenomenon for our technological age. And a scary biscuit prospect for everyone who worries about premature ageing.

It happens when people spend too much time in one position, frowning at the computer screen - as most of us do when we're working.

It's a very real condition - I'm not making it up. A leading cosmetic surgeon has blamed computer face for a whole host of nasties, including lines and jowls. All the while I thought it was my age to blame. And now, when it's too late to make a difference, I discover my looks might not have deteriorated had I acquired a habit for taking frequent computer breaks and blowing kisses at the ceiling.

And now, New Voices... Yes, I know I said I wasn't going to mention it again - obviously I lied. The winners have been chosen - congratulations to all ten and I can't wait to read those second chapters. Everyone who participated seems to agree the whole thing's been a blast. I don't know about you, but I'm going to be kind of lost when those chapters are taken down. But maybe, without the distraction, I'll get some writing done.

Next on the list:

1. My medical. I want to finish my medical so I can submit a partial before they forgot they asked for it.

2. Short stories. There are three newly sold and waiting to be published, but I only have a couple left 'out there' now. I really need to write and submit more if I've any hope of meeting my self imposed target for the year.

3. Toying with a new romance - a category romance, that is. You'd think I'd know better by now, but, however many times I get rejected, I just can't leave those romances alone.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a hot date with a biker doc. He's mouthwateringly gorgeous and he doesn't care about my computer face. If only he was real...

Shocking News

2010-09-25T17:17:00.006+01:00

I'm devastated.

One of my favourite outlets has undergone a revamp and reduced the number of readers' letters published in each issue. I suspect this might be a cost cutting exercise.

This development isn't a surprise, it's a trend that’s been in the offing for a while. Not so long ago, star letters in this magazine carried a massive £100 payment, this was halved a while back to £50 (still v good for only a hundred or so words).

To fill the void, the remainder of the page is now filled with light news and celebrity items, presumably written by staff members.

Anyway, this week, I turned to the letters’ page – as I do every week – only to find a miserable SINGLE letter and one photo of a reader with a celebrity. The reader/celeb slot isn't one I can target as, not only am I the most un-photogenic person in history, but I also don’t know any celebs and don’t know where to find any celebs. In fact, I'd probably not even notice a celeb until they’d wandered off, even if they trod on my toe.

This is a magazine I've bought regularly for many, many years – and not only because the 13-year-old has avidly read it every week since she was six (vetted first when she was younger, a couple of the medical specials have been decidedly adult in nature). No, this was a magazine I felt was on my wavelength and the real lure was the letters’ page – I loved to read the views of other readers and, what’s more, it provided a very lucrative outlet for my own opinions.

In the past year alone I’ve been lucky to see 11 of my missives in print in this publication. But, with this overhaul, chances of further sales of letters here have plummeted.

Who will publish my complaints and bitchings about minor celebrities now?

Which leads me nicely on to the need for writers to continually diversify and find new markets. So, the search is on.

And, in the meantime, my opinions will be foisted upon my blog visitors (sorry).

Anyway, to thank you for listening, here's a treat: Erasure with O'Lamour - and doesn't lovely Andy Bell looks fab in a unitard and boots?

New Voices - last time, I promise

2010-09-23T23:36:00.005+01:00

Whoever suggested I might be obsessed with NV is spot on. But, with so many terrific entries on the site, it's hard not to be. And I'd like to mention some more fantastic chapters:

Valentino's Angel by Romy Sommer

Claiming Her Italian Magnate by Sri Pammi

Taming the Lion by Joanne Cleary

Misbehaving with the Retail Magnate by Lacey Devlin

If you'd like me to add your link to this post then please leave a comment and I'll be happy to do so. I was going to add a list on a clickable link on my sidebar - as other have done - but technology and I aren't on the best of terms, so by the time I've worked out how to do it, the competition will be over. However, if you scroll down to the last few posts, you'll see all the chapters I've linked to.

There are now 824 first chapters posted on the NV site. That's right - 824 writers, who want to be published by Mills and Boon. Scary biscuits. It makes me dizzy just thinking about it.

Over at Planet Sue, I've stopped checking my rating - nerves couldn't stand it. But I'm glad I entered, I got some lovely comments about my chapter and that's given me a bit of a boost.

And what's next? Well, busy, busy, busy with the day jobs - and writing, of course. And I know I'm guilty of neglecting blogland - but will catch up with you all in the next day or two.

XX

New Voices - My Chapter's Up...

2010-09-20T12:03:00.004+01:00

To prove I'm not all talk, my chapter's now viewable on the New Voices site. Is is silly that I felt really chuffed when I got an e-mail to say it had been approved?

It's only attracted lovely comments so far, so huge thanks to everyone who's dropped by already. And, if you haven't read it and have time to hop over, this is where you can find it:

Manhunt - chapter one

XX

All about New Voices

2010-09-20T00:34:00.005+01:00

I pressed send.

Feel sick.

Hopefully my chapter will be viewable at some point soon.

In the meantime, another three terrific chapters for you to read...

Angie Peters with Warming the Sexy Stranger's Bed

Kristy Price with Being Reckless with the Rogue

Elissa Graham with Two Weeks to Transform the Tycoon.

Well done all.

Celebrating Welshness - and more New Voices

2010-09-18T21:33:00.008+01:00

Few of you who visit regularly will be surprised by my Welshness - apart from the fact I go on about it regularly, 'Jones' is a bit of a giveaway. Having left my homeland at the age of ten, though, I'm finding I'm getting more and more homesick.

I miss Wales.

I miss Welsh people.

I miss cawl, celebrating St David's Day and the habit Welsh people have of making enemies but then making friends with those enemies when they find a third party they both despise (or is that just my family?).

Welsh people are funny and kind and brave and fiercely loyal. And that's not to say other people aren't also these things, but I yearn for Welsh funny and Welsh kind and Welsh bravery and Welsh loyalty.

So... I've been watching TV. Or, rather, the computer. Pobol y Cwm (The Valley People) is my new favourite on BBC iPlayer. And I've been watching Gavin and Stacey. In one memorable episode, Gavin was actually watching Pobyl y Cwm on his mother-in-law's TV. That was a great day in this Jones household.

In New Voices news, there are now 374 entries - and I'd like to bring your attention to:

Joanne Pibworth with Sequins and Secrets

Caroline Storer with The Roman's Revenge

Sally Quilford with The Venetian's Command Performance

Fab chapters all.

Let me know if you've entered and I'll pop over for a look. And don't forget to get your blog badge from Lacey.

Normally, when I enter a competition or prize draw, I always expect to win. I'm shocked every time my numbers don't come up on the Lottery and it's a surprise every week when I don't win the Take a Break car. However, with New Voices I have no such expectations. The entries I've read have been just smashing and I know I don't have the skill to compete.

However, I said I'd enter, so I have finished my chapter. It has a title: Manhunt. But I'm still dithering and faffing and putting off the moment I press send.

I know, I'm just a big fat wuss, but I didn't say ALL Welsh people were brave.

Great News and New Voices

2010-09-12T12:12:00.012+01:00

I've just found out Coach Trip's back for a fifth series. Missed the first two weeks, so thank goodness for 4 On Demand. You all know I adore Brendan and, when I've time, I'm planning to sit down with chocolate and enjoy the story so far...

The New Voices competition has proved very popular, with 175 first chapter entries uploaded already.

I'm still planning to enter, but my chapter isn't working at the moment. I've re-written the first couple of paragraphs countless times and they're still making me cringe. However, I hope that once I get the tone right the story will flow (nothing like being optimistic). I'm still a bit wobbly about exposing my work to everyone, but others have been brave and I will be, too.

Among the chapters already posted up are a couple of brilliant ones I just have to mention: In Too Deep, by Lorraine Wilson and Talking Dirty with the CEO by Jackie Ashenden. So, if you have haven't already, drop in and read both chapters - you're in for a treat.

It's also worth visiting Lacey Devlin - she's constructed a Wall of Fame for entrants and badges for our blogs. Great work, Lacey.

If you've entered, please let me know - leave a comment with the details and I'll pop over for a read.

M&S Bags For Life and New Voices Competition

2010-09-05T16:59:00.000+01:00

I saw the optician this week, for a contact lens check. He was a nice young man, even if he didn't seem old enough to be qualified (a trend I'm noticing more and more with all sorts of professionals).

The appointment followed the expected form and, when he asked if I'd been experiencing difficulties, I reeled off my list. You'll be pleased to learn I only related ocular difficulties - we'd have been there all day if I'd taken him up on the offer to discuss all my problems.

However, he didn't seem the slightest bit concerned that air that escapes through my tear duct whenever I try to blow my nose (resulting in the odd phenomenon whereby I end up blowing in my own eye). He was also disinterested when I revealed my glasses irritate the life out of me so I can't wear them.

But, when I explained the reason I'd brought a number of shopping bags was because I intended to visit M&S, he perked right up. Did they, he asked, still charge for carrier bags? And how much did they charge? What was the quality of the bags? Did they disintegrate on contact with shopping like some of the supermarket ones? Or did they last? When I mentioned bags for life I thought he was going to pass out with excitement.

Aren't some people funny.

On the writing front, not long to go before the New Voices competition opens and the romance writing community is alive with the thrill of it. Oodles of luck to all of you who are going to enter. Can't wait to read your chapters.

Writing more, blogging less...

2010-08-25T17:49:00.005+01:00

That was the theory, at least.

A while back, Talli Roland mentioned the time she'd spent replying to blog messages and returning visits. I can't remember exactly how long it was, but I'm sure it was measured in hours. This doesn't surprise me, blogging is a time consuming business and Talli gets lots of visits and comments. I don't get anywhere near as many visitors as Talli, but it can still take me several hours when I update. So, in an attempt to free up time, I've been trying to reduce the time I spend blogging.

So far, I've managed the blogging less part, but what have I done with the time? No idea. I certainly haven't managed to get any extra work done. The thing is I really like blogging, so I don't think it was a particularly bright idea to try to do less so I could work more.

Anyway, not a lot has been happening - no news, no gossip. My life is officially dull. And the summer is officially over - the 13-year-old goes back to school tomorrow and it's back to the old routine (and countdown to the October holidays). If you listen very carefully, you might just be able to hear her version of the 'I don't want to go back to school' song - it's been increasing in volume all day.

So, with no news of my own, I'm going to tell you other people's news:

Most of you will have heard of Embrace by now, I'm sure. This exciting venture in romance publishing has Jane Holland at its helm. It's always fantastic to hear of new opportunities for writers of romance and it's important we all support Embrace, if we can. If you haven't been over to the Embrace blog, pop over now and see what Jane has to say. I've already singed up for the newsletter and can't wait to read the first romances - particularly as two of those romances have been written by people I know: lovely friend, Judy Jarvie, and fellow Minx, Sally Clements.

Talking of Minxes, Maya Blake and Romy Sommer have been involved in The Wild Rose Press blog tour to promote their books. The tour is nearing its end now, but, if you hurry, there's still time to enter the draw to win 10 fantastic e-books. Just follow the links to Maya's and Romy's blogs for details.

So, that's me. How have you all been? And what have you been up to?

The Positive Side To Growing Older...

2010-08-13T00:27:00.003+01:00

Today, I'm reeling from the news poor David Beckham has been deemed too old to play football for his country. As he's several years younger than me, I have to face the fact that means I, too, must now be too old to play for England (of course, I'm also too Welsh, too female and too useless at kicking a ball - but that's not the point). And, yes, I know Fabio Capello wasn't talking about me - but it's my blog and I can make anything personal if I want to.

Anyway, this news got me thinking about what else I might be too old to do:
1. Join Her Majesty's armed forced.
2. Train for the Olympic Games.
3. Win at Wimbledon.
4. Wear a mini skirt.
5. Ditto short sleeves.
6. Ditto a bikini.
7. Ensnare an alpha male multi millionaire.
8. Dance all night.
9. Look up definitions in Urban Dictionary (according to my 13-year-old in any case).
10. Develop a crush on Justin Bieber or that nice young Edward vampire-boy.

The good news is that these aren't things I've ever wanted to do - not even when I was still young enough to do them (apart from, maybe, ensnare the millionaire and, perhaps, look up definitions in Urban Dictionary - but I still do the dictionary thing anyway when daughter's not looking). So really it's not so bad.

In fact, being older is great. I can tut loudly at people who displease me in shops (mainly other customers who get in my way). And I don't put up with any nonsense - if someone has a go I now give as good as I get. And, shoes...my problem feet have always demanded sensible shoes and, at last, I'm at the age where it's almost expected I wear flats. So, for today at least, I'm happy to be older.

PS While I'm here, apologies for absence - I'm going to catch up with you all soon. XX

What should I do?

2010-07-25T10:06:00.003+01:00

Mills and Boon have announced a fantastic new competition - details can be found here. Entries will be posted online and this is a wonderful opportunity for work to be seen and commented on by the romance community. And, of course, those prizes are fantastic.

There are many, many reasons why I shouldn't enter:

1. I'm tired and fed up and I've been worn down by years and years of rejections.

2. The entries will be viewed by the public - What if I'm as deluded as some of those contestants on the early rounds of the X-Factor? What if I attract ridicule and hilarity for my pathetic effort? Obviously, published authors can be wounded by harsh reviews, but, when you're unpublished, ridicule from the public could send you over the edge.

3. When there are so many wannabes out there you need something extra - sparkle, magic, talent - to stand out. If I had that I'd have made it by now.

4. I've made the decision - I'm moving on... My love affair with romance is over. Yes, I still think about it sometimes. Yes, I miss it. Yes, I wish it had worked out. But Ive decided it's not a healthy relationship.

5... I could go on, but I think you get the message - the sensible thing for me to do is ignore the lure of this new competition.

But...but...but...

There's one compelling reason why I should, perhaps, give it a go...

I REALLY, REALLY WANT TO.

So, what to do? Do I do the healthy thing and look the other way? Or do I - even knowing it will likely end in tears - give in and have one last fling with my first love?

A Shock, Searching My Writer's Soul and a Treat For All

2010-07-13T21:01:00.001+01:00

You know Rolos? Those tiny little toffee and chocolate sweeties that are just right for that writing break? Well I was pleasantly surprised when I recently discovered a tube of these is only 125 calories. Honestly, I double and triple checked.

125 Calories. It seemed to good to be true - but it was right there in large figures on the packet.

So, Rolos became my sweet of choice. Sometimes I even ate two packets at a time - at only 250 calories I reckoned it was worth it.

And then today the nasty shock. I read the small print and found that 125 calories is for FIVE tiny sweeties - not the whole lot. That's only half the packet. Who eats half the packet? (I'm guessing the answer here would be thin people, but no need to rub it in.)

So, my 250 calorie treat was actually 500. It really isn't that hard to work out exactly why I'm fat.

But how do Nestle get away with such schockingly misleading packaging? They should either give the same prominence to all the info, or advise the calorific value of the whole lot - which is what most of us will be eating.

On the writing front, I've run out of ideas. Actually, that's not true - I have tons of ideas, just not any good ones. The number of stories I've started and failed to finish is scandalous. They run out of steam on the first page. Sometimes they run out of steam as early as the first paragraph.

I think the trick is to focus and wrestle with one idea until it submits into some sort of finished work. This is what I'm going to try, anyway.

I've also been thinking quite hard about how I want my writing to progress. My first love is romance - and regular visitors will be sick of the story of how I sent my first manuscript out when I was 16 (and received it back a few weeks later). But, realistically, I have to face the heartbreaking fact I'm not any good at it.

However, I have been on the receiving end of some encouragement (and the odd success) with short stories. Tellingly, few of the success have been romances. And most of my other published bits and pieces have been amusing (bitchy) personal opinions about minor celebrities. Nothing at all to do with romance.

Maybe I just don't have the depth of character to convey a couple falling in love. Or, maybe I'm just too cynical. Maybe I don't trust enough that those charming alpha males don't hide a dark side - like charming men in real life sometimes do (yes, the voice of bitter experience - and the details aren't suitable for a family blog). You only need to read The Charm Syndrome by Sandra Horley (sadly not available to buy new at the moment) to see how dangerous falling for a man like that can be.

So, what to do? Continue with the dream despite the resulting heartache (and the fact I've received absolutely no encouragement)? Or jump ship and make a bigger effort with other projects - things I know I can do?

That's the dilemma that will keep me awake tonight.

And now, just to prove a man doesn't have to be alpha to make my heart beat a little faster, here's a treat for everyone:

thanks, half-yearly round-up and pulication X 2

2010-07-04T18:02:00.001+01:00

Thank you so much to all of you who left messages here and/or on the Minxes site. That's what I love about the online writing community - so much support from lovely blogging friends.

Now we're into July, I thought I'd dig out my records and see how I did, writing wise, during the first six months of 2010. I find it extremely interesting and encouraging when writers, such as Julie Phillips, post up their stats, so I hope this might be of use to some of you.

Here goes: From 1st January to 30th June, my sales have been as follows:

Short Stories: 7
Letters and Fillers: 12
Handy Hints:1 (I can't tell you how thrilled I was when I spotted this in the July issue of Prima - despite my love of housework (ha), nobody has wanted my advice for years.)

Not a lot by some standards, but a much better writing year for me than any other so far.

And what of my February Submission Frenzy?

Well, it did yield results - of the sales above, 4 letters and 2 short stories resulted from those 28 submissions. Not a huge percentage success rate, perhaps, but it does show that the harder you work, the more you sell (or, as Samuel Goldwyn put it: 'The harder I work, the luckier I get.'). And it's certainly enough to encourage me to have another go next year.

The publications mentioned in the title are sadly not the multi-million pound two book deal (I'm reminded here of the joke where a man prayed desperately to win the lottery - eventually, God boomed down from on high: "Meet me half way - buy a ticket." In the same way, I should perhaps meet the publishers half way and submit a novel.), but I'm utterly thrilled to announce one of my short stories is in the current issue of The Weekly News (dated 3rd July). I also have a letter in Chat. Oddly both are on cattish themes. Perhaps I should specialise in this area - is there a call for multi-million pound books about cats do you think?

Who says I'm needy?

2010-06-21T00:07:00.000+01:00

I'm blogging over at the Minxes of Romance today. Know this is going to sound pathetic and needy, but if you have a moment could you please pop over and say hi? Wouldn't ask, but this is my first solo post over there and I don't want to look like Norma-No-Mates.

Thank you.

XX

10 things you may not know about me

2010-06-18T19:07:00.008+01:00

Thank you lovely LilyS and equally lovely JJ Beattie for nominating me for the Honest Scrap award. The rules of this award state I must list ten things you might not know about me. I was first nominated for this a while back by gaelikaa – and you can find my answers to that nomination here. However, I do like talking about myself ('never,' I hear you cry) and, although I imagine there’s very little of mystery left about my life after nearly two years of blogging, I’m going to give this a go.

So, 10 things you may not know about me:

1. When we visited Cadbury World a couple of years ago, I bought 100 Creme Eggs – and ate them all myself. For anyone who's interested, the Creme Egg season runs from 1st January to 4th April.

2. I’m not fond of feet. Baby toes are one thing, but I’ll go to great lengths to avoid touching bigger feet. If I’m honest, I don’t even like touching my own feet. This is why I'll never work in a shoe shop.

3. If I buy something and later find it cheaper in another shop, my fury is in direct proportion to the number of extra hours I'll have to work to make up the difference.

4. I hate people who drive too close to my backside. Even more hateful are those people who drive too close to my backside (even when I'm at the speed limit) and then, when I pull in to let them pass, park behind me and refuse to budge.

5. Since leaving my parents' home, every house I've every lived in has had a kitchen cupboard set aside for chocolate. Sometimes, there's too much chocolate for the chocolate cupboard and I'm forced to put the surplus in with the tins.

6. I loathe my day jobs with a passion. Yes, I know I said that last time, but some things never change.

7. When it's cold outside, I take a hot water bottle with me in the car.

8. Despite the odds, I'm convinced I'll win the lottery one day. It's only this belief that keeps me as sane as I am.

9. This is a terrible admission for a fan of romance, but I was once very tempted to throw my wedding ring from the Forth Road Bridge. Instead, I gave it to my daughter to play with (and no, she hasn't lost it).

10. Despite being a part of several close groups at the various school I attended, there are only three school friends I'm still in any kind of contact with.

I'm supposed to pass this award on, but, as usual, how can I chose from so many great blogs? So, if you haven't already been awarded this, please consider yourself nominated.

Heidi Rice

2010-06-17T07:51:00.005+01:00

Lovely Heidi Rice has given a terrific interview over on the Minxes' site. Pop over now, if you haven't been already, it's definitely worth a look - especially as Heidi has one of the most romantic wedding stories I've heard in a long time. What's more, if you leave a comment, you'll be in with a chance to win Heidi's book: Unfinished Business with the Duke.

Good luck.

Edited 18/06/10 to add: The draw has taken place and the winner announced on the Minxes of Romance blog. Thank you to those who took part. Congratulations to the lucky winner. Everybody else, keep your eyes open as we have a great list of author visits planned and there will be more book giveaways.

I'll be back after work to catch up with all your blogs.

Advice from grim experience

2010-06-12T19:05:00.004+01:00

Not writing advice, I'm afraid, but more whining from my dealings with the medical world.

Specifically, my appointment at ENT.

As mentioned before, when I last visited this department (about 20 years ago) the consultant pulled my tongue so hard I still cringe when I think of it. So, this time, I went prepared. If the doctor came near my tongue, I was going to politely decline.

I even rehearsed my refusal in the mirror before my appointment: "Thank you, that's terribly kind, but do you mind if I don't have that done?"

However, the doctor didn't even ask to see my tongue, let alone make an attempt to pull it out of my head, so my preparation was a waste of time.

She did cauterized my nose, though.

I'd only gone for a chat, so it was a bit of a shock.

It hurt.

A lot.

I can't report exact details of the procedure - I closed my eyes and did some Astral Traveling the moment I saw the foot long metal rod intended for my nasal cavity. This was only so she could have a look - I hate to think what instrument of torture she used for the actual cauterization.

For days, it felt my face had been kicked in by a horse. But, despite incessant whinging, I got very little sympathy. My lovely 13-year-old dismissed all complaints of pain with the silver lining that at least I no longer had to worry about embarrassing nasal hair. She was right, hairy nostrils are the least of my problems.

Eventually the pain reduced until it only felt as though I'd been punched. Even now, two weeks later, it's still uncomfortable.

I can understand how someone suffering chronic nosebleeds might require this procedure. However, my nosebleeds were very occasional and the solution was very definitely a million times worse than the original problem.

So, my advice: Should a doctor (or anyone else, for that matter) ever approach your nostril with any kind of implement then run - as far and as fast as you can.

On the subject of running, following Margo MacDonald's inspired suggestion Scotland uses Shang-a-Lang as an anthem for the Commonwealth Games in 2014, this is for anyone who ever waved a tartan scarf or, indeed, sang Shang-a-Lang as they ran with the gang:

Next time I'll try to get back on track with a post about writing.

Tales of the battle against fat

2010-06-04T21:34:00.004+01:00

Regular visitors will know I've been told to lose at least a stone by my GP. Easy, peasy lemon squeezy - a stone is nothing. Cut out a few of the sugary snacks, move a bit more...and watch the pounds fall away.

I got off to a flying start - 2 lbs gone in the first week. At that rate I'd lose the stone easily.

Second week wasn't so good - stayed the same. Nothing came off at all, despite my eating hardly enough to keep a tiny mouse alive (honestly) - and moving quite a bit more than I normally would.

Never mind - I was sure things would improve in the third week. I was wrong. Not only did I not lose any weight, but I put back on the 2 lbs I'd lost in the first week.

And, this week, another pound has attached itself to my ginormous frame.

So, I'm eating less, moving more and still gaining weight. That can't be right.

However, on to happier things: Especially for those of you missing Coach Trip, I’ve reviewed Driving Aphrodite on the Minxes’ blog today – alongside a review of The Accidental Husband by lovely Minx Lorraine. Sadly, my review is brief in the extreme – I’m finding it hard to write anything at the moment – but the film is enjoyable, and Lorraine’s review is definitely worth a look.

PS Hope to catch up on all your blogs in the next day or two. X

Look what I’ve won…

2010-05-26T17:03:00.006+01:00

...a copy of Nicola Morgan’s new book, Wasted.

I’m seriously delighted. Our bookshelves are filled with many of Nicola’s books (won’t pretend we’ve got them all as she’s had over 90 published) and this is a welcome addition. I CAN’T WAIT TO READ IT. All I did was join Nicola’s Wasted blog as a follower and I was automatically entered into the draw.

I’m not going to review it just now because:
1. I haven’t read it yet.
2. don’t think I could do a better job than Helen has here.

There’s still time if you’d like to try to win your own copy – the next draw is on the 29th and there are also competitions to enter. So hurry, visit the site and join as a follower – go on, there’s not a moment to lose.

(Know I've been a bad blogger recently - lots of reasons, but won't bore you with them here. Hope to catch up with all your news in the next few days.)

Why do they sell popcorn at the theatre?

2010-05-16T23:38:00.002+01:00

There was great excitement here when the touring production of Les Miserables announced a visit to the Edinburgh Playhouse. I immediately booked tickets.

And then we waited.

At last, the date arrived and we headed across to the capital to take up our seats and prepared to be entertained.

Our position was one of the best in the house. As expected, the production was exquisite, the performances faultless. And yet, it turned out to be an unpleasant experience.

And the reason?

Other people.

These days I seldom go to the pictures because of other people - noise, smells and, my own pet hate, feet up on my chair (an annoyance which can be cross-referenced under the sub category 'odours').

But surely people would be a bit more civilised if they'd made the effort to go to a nice theatre?

You would have thought.

A girl to the left of my party crunched popcorn. A family to the right slurped beer and laughed frequently whenever any one of them burped or sneezed. A husband and wife two rows back shouted at each other throughout. A young couple behind us, when they weren't rustling sweetie wrappers, indulged in the sort of risque behaviour that begged the rest of us to invite them to 'get a room'. And, a girl beside them was eating peanuts - noisily cracking shells with abandon as Fantine lay dying.

Next time I fancy a night out I'm going to have done with it and go to the zoo. At least you expect to be surrounded by animals there. Actually, I apologise to the animals for the insult - I'm sure they'd be much better behaved than my fellow theatre goers were last night.

News: Tedious and Good

2010-05-12T15:12:00.001+01:00

Tedious

1. Guess what I saw on the school run this morning?

SNOW - that's what.

And we've had frost.

Yet, other days, it's been so hot I've had to slap on the factor 50 and take my fleece off.

All this vacillating between hot and cold is very annoying.

Do I need to wear a vest? Or do I not?

Wish I knew.

2. Visiting the doctor at my age is a dangerous thing to do.

I only went because it had been suggested I might have an under active thyroid (see earlier posts on the search for a reason why it's not my fault I'm fat). And, weeks later, I'm still being subjected to tests, tests and more tests.

The latest: an ECG. And I was extremely embarrassed to find I should have taken time to shave my legs, as they wanted to stick electrodes to my (hairy) shins. They should put things like that on the appointment card. (They should also warn you might be expected to bare your bosom to the world - particularly as that department isn't as perky as it once was.)

Next stop, ENT. Last time I was there they pulled my tongue so hard I felt pain right down to my toes (and it's horrid pain, a bit like hitting your funny bone. So you can imagine how much I'm looking forward to that.

3. No writing news. Apart from a Christmas story, recently sold to The People's Friend, there's nothing in the offing. I'm starting to think I've lost my touch. I'll never be published again.

Think I need to write more.

And now the Good News (which outweighs all the tedious):

The Minxes of Romance launch went very well. Huge thanks to all of you who stopped by, it was great to see so many of you there.

Today, The Minxes are very excited to host our first guest author - Sandra Sookoo, who is speaking about her new release: Demons and Stilettos are a Girl’s Best Friend. And, there's the chance for some lucky person to win a copy of the book, so head over now to enter.

Proud to be a Minx of Romance

2010-05-10T16:36:00.002+01:00

Last time, I promised details of a sparkling new blog - and today, 10th May, is the launch date for The Minxes Of Romance.

So, head over, say 'hello' and meet the Minxes.

There's going to be cyber champagne, chat and there may even be dancing (I'll be dancing even if nobody else is).

And hold onto your hats as there are many exciting things planned: Minxy Mondays will be followed by Author Visits on Wednesdays and Anything Can Happen Fridays.

Hope to see you over there.

Why Anaemia Makes You Fat:

2010-05-08T19:30:00.003+01:00

One of the symptoms of anaemia is extreme tiredness. When you feel tired, the lure of the quick sugar fix is irresistible - an artificial means of boosting energy levels in the short term.

And, when you're so tired you can't think straight, the last thing you feel able to do is exercise.

Therefore, over the course of the day, you will eat more calories than you will burn.

At a rough guess, I've been anaemic for at least five years - so the wonder isn't that I'm fat, but that I'm not even fatter.

AND, IT'S NOT MY FAULT - IT'S A MEDICAL CONDITION.

Tune in next time when I promise not to be self-centred but will be sharing exciting news of a great new blog.

Why you should always deal with your post in timely fashion...

2010-05-02T15:29:00.005+01:00

Have just caught up with my post and found my contributor copy of That's Life! (Australia) has arrived. Despite this being my 63rd published piece (over many years), I'm so excited.

It's a lovely magazine - colourful and bright and they've given my story a brilliant, fun illustration.

And, in the same pile of post, my copy of The Weekly News - and I'm really happy they've found a really cute photo for my story.

Utterly thrilled.

READY TO TAKE ON THE WORLD?

2010-04-30T22:59:00.004+01:00

I have anaemia.

This is a shock for several reasons:

1. I'm at least two stones (oh, alright, three - I forgot, some of you know me in real life) overweight. I didn't think fat people became anaemic.

2. I'm a hypochondriac. And I've been relatively healthy all my life. So, although I fret and worry, I never actually expect anything to be wrong.

3. I'd put the constant tiredness down to stress, my age and doing too much.

4. I didn't really realised how bad I felt - I'd been like that so long it felt normal to wade through treacle on a daily basis.

5. I'm proud to take responsibility for my own health. The NHS is wonderful, but doctors are human, they can make mistakes - and could never be more interested in me than I am myself. So, generally, when I go to the doctor I have good idea of what I think might be wrong.

And when I went to the doctor this time, it certainly wasn't with the idea I might be anaemic. I'm always cold, I'm always tired, my metabolism has reached a full stop...the signs pointed to an under active thyroid.

The test results showed low hemoglobin and low iron levels. And, while I'm glad it's something easily dealt with, I'm slightly embarrassed I missed the signs (and didn't add spinach and dark chocolate to my diet).

I'm now in possession of enough Ferrous Sulphate to open my own Irn-Bru factory.

Already, the bone crushing weariness - the feeling everything's an effort - is lifting. I know there's a long way to go as my count was fairly low, but if I feel so much better now, I reckon by next week I'll be ready to take on the world.

Next time, I'm aiming to write a writely post - possibly about my new WIP. Either that, or I'll share my theory on why it's anaemia's fault I'm fat.

The strangest thing I've seen this week...

2010-04-23T19:04:00.000+01:00

Lovely singing sisters from the 1940s - but with a twist.

(The strange stuff starts about a minute in.)

What I'd really like to know is who worked out a human being could run around their own head? And why would anyone want to?

Wish me luck...

2010-04-18T16:19:00.003+01:00

...because I've just sent my book out. More in hope than expectation, if truth be told. I know it's the best I can make it, but competition's tough out there and I know my best will probably not be good enough.

Get the feeling I should have received an automated response from the publisher. And I didn't. This isn't the first time this has happened - a short story and a handy hint (yes, despite being the legendary anti-domestic-goddess, I'm still trying with the household hints) went out this weekend to the sound of deafening silence. And normally, I would have expected automatic e-mail responses to both.

Maybe it's my e-mail to blame.

Feel sick.

5 Items of Happy News

2010-04-12T20:39:00.002+01:00

1. All is well. My wee angel is back safely and, as predicted, had a tremendous time without her old mum clucking around her.

2. The sun's shining. I'm not always fond of the sun. My Celtic skin is prone to burning. Besides, too much exposure to daylight makes wrinkles worse. But it's been a cold, hard winter - less than two weeks ago, we were battling through blizzards - so the warm, shiny thing in the sky is welcome today (as long as it doesn't get too hot).

3. Amanda Brittany has hit upon the brilliant idea of compiling a list of everyone who writes fiction aimed at women's magazines. If you're interested in this area, pop over and read about it. This is a huge undertaking - there are many, many of us - but such a good idea I can't believe it hasn't been thought of before.

4. This morning, in my inbox, a remittance advice from Australia. It would seem Issue 16 of That's Life! has been published and, contained in its pages, my story (I'm loathe to give its title because I know sometimes magazines change them). A lovely writing friend has confirmed they send contributor copies, so am really looking forward to seeing it.

5. An e-mail this afternoon to let me know I've sold another story to The People's Friend.

I'm so pleased.

But can this run of luck continue?

Helicopter Mum?

2010-04-11T19:28:00.003+01:00

Yes, that's me. The thirteen-year-old has gone to stay with a friend. She was dropped off at four this afternoon and I'll pick her up at midday tomorrow. So you'd think I'd take advantage of time to myself - I could do anything...go to the pictures, the theatre...out for dinner..I could even go dancing...

But I won't do any of those things. Instead, I'll to stay home like some saddo, hugging the phone, kidding myself she might need me.

I really need to get a life.

I know there's no need to worry. The host mum is a GP and they're a lovely family. She couldn't be in safer hands. She's stayed over many times before and always had a whale of a time. As she will this time, no doubt.

But I also know I'll stay awake all night and worry and fret and hope she's okay. Which is fine in a way, because I have loads of work to do - so at least the wakefulness will be put to good use.

She did leave orders that I was to wash her slippers, though. They were covered in curry powder. As was the kitchen floor and all the work surfaces. She'd only gone in to make a Pot Noodle so the mess is a bit of a mystery. The slippers are in the machine as I write - very noisily treading the inside of the drum. But, I have a task, I'm needed - for the moment - if only for washing slippers.

I'm dreading the time she goes off to uni.

Is pre-emptive empty nest syndrome a recognised disorder?

Anyway, in writing news: I've heard from The Weekly News and my story will be in next week's issue (on sale Thursday). I'm really enjoying this run of good luck writing-wise, but very aware it could all end at any moment.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a hot date with Sage Accounting (which I loathe).

Tags and Awards

2010-04-07T20:54:00.000+01:00

Some while back, Suzanne Brandyn nominated me for the 5-5-5 tag: Five questions, Five answers, Five more blogs to tag. So, here goes...

Question 1: Where were you five years ago?
1.) The dent in the sofa would confirm I was very much exactly where I am today.
2.) I was Mum to an adorable eight-year-old who never gave me cheek.
3.) The economic climate was a little better, so I wasn't rushing around trying to do a variety of deadly boring jobs to top up the income from my deadly boring self-employment.
4.) I wanted to be a writer, but was doing very little writing.
5.) I was about three stones lighter and a million years less wrinkled.

Question 2: What is (was) on your to-do list today?
1.) Shopping (not just any shopping - M&S food hall shopping).
2.) Tidying up. This is always on my to-do list, but all I ever end up doing is moving piles of books and clutter from one place to another. I think it must be an illness - there has to be a name for it.
3.) Writing - and I'm writing now: One out of five aint bad (and now Mr Loaf will be singing in my head for the rest of the day so I won't get anything else done).
4.) Work (yuk - hate the horrid work).
5.) Checking a ton of lottery tickets. I know it's a remote hope, but it's not one I'm likely to give up any time soon. Some of the tickets are nearly out of time, so if I find a big win and I've been working for the last six months when I didn't need to...

Question 3: What five snacks do you enjoy?
1.) Vanilla Truffles
2.) Violet Cremes
3.) Rose Cremes
4.) Orange Fondants
5.) Strawberry Fondants
(and then I wonder why I'm fat...)

Question 4: What five places have you lived?
1.) Wales
2.) Scotland
3.) England
4.) ...er, that's it.
5.) I'd quite like to live on Moonbase-Alpha.

Question 5: What five things would you do if you were a billionaire?
1.) Write.
2.) Buy a field and build a large subterranean home. I'm not fond of sunshine. I don't like the cold. I think a cosy life underground would suit me admirably.
3.) Give up the day jobs.
4.) Travel.
5.) Set up a children's educational charity. This isn't supposed to be a political blog, but I do think it's scandalous that our local council, as a cost cutting measure, is planning to reduce the number of teachers across all subjects - from music instructors to maths and English teachers. And it will be the most vulnerable children in our society who'll suffer.

And 5 more bloggers...

1. Julie Phillips - In the time I've known her, Julie has worked so hard with her writing - and has enjoyed many successes.

2. Teresa Ashby - Teresa is the Queen of short story writers. This lady is seriously talented and prolific. Pick up any magazine and chances are one of her stories will be there. We all want to write like Teresa and avidly read her blog hoping to absorb her wisdom.

3. Joanne Fox - Joanne's blog is informative and amusing and definitely worth a look.

4. Jackie Ashenden - Jackie is just lovely and very generously shares her knowledge and her journey into the romance writing world. Everything I know about internal conflict, I found out from Jackie.

5. HelenMHunt - Helen is a busy lady - with many writing successes to her credit - as well as a lovely blogging friend.

And now I'd like to acknowledge a triple nomination for The Beautiful Blogger award - thank you so much, Julie, Teresa and Joanne.

A nomination entitles the recipient to pass the award on to 10 other bloggers. So, does a triple nomination mean I get to chose 30 recipients? That might seem a bit greedy, but do you think 15 might be okay? You know me - there's no way I could chose just ten:

1. Judy Jarvie
2. Lorraine Wilson
3. Caroline Storer
4. Sally Clements
5. Karen
6. Jane Holland
7. Debs
8. penandpaints
9. Lily S
10. Colette McCormick
11. Kerrin
12. womagwriter
13. DJ Kirby
14. JJ Beatie
15. Cala Swafford
16. Suzanne Brandyn
17. Joanne Cleary
18. Amanda
19. Kaye Manro
20. Joanne Pibworth

Oops - have gone over 15. But even with that it was so, so hard to chose just a handful from the many many blogs I really enjoy visiting.

Still Happy

2010-04-01T20:03:00.002+01:00

I love the postman. Always have done. The thrill of receiving mail is hard to beat. A letter from a friend (yes, I'm so old some of my friends still send handwritten notes), cards from abroad, news of a story sold, or payment for something published... Even a bill poses a tantalising possibility - before that envelope's ripped open it could contain anything, perhaps a win on the premium bonds or, even better, a multi-million pound book deal (and if you know they'd phone with news like that, please don't shatter my little fantasy).

A quick note for anyone who thinks I need to get a life: In my student days, I once read some research (can't remember the exact details - it was a long time ago) where scientists measured heartbeats in response to various situations. The arrival of post was up there with snogging a member of the opposite sex.

Anyway, this week I love the postman even more than usual, for bringing two nice surprises:

1. Lovely Sam - the hero of the hour when I fell out with Asda last week - sent a giftcard: £10 as a gesture of goodwill. Love the lovely Sam. Asda should double his salary and send him out to train staff (particularly Graham) in how to be lovely.

2. A contributor copy of The People's Friend (dated 10th April) was delivered. My story - The Baby Of The Family - is published in it.

There's more writing news, but by e-mail this time, so can't credit the postman with this. I've sold another story to The Weekly News. Am v. v. happy. This is hit 6 from the February Submission Frenzy (which, due to its success, may now be made an annual event).

And, lovely Suzanne Brandyn has tagged me. I'll have to give this some thought and will post my answers at a later date.

This means I'm far too happy for a grumpy post - so I'll fill you in on the book I didn't like another time.

Am now holding my breath and crossing everything that can be crossed in the hope my run of good luck continues.

My short story’s gone international…

2010-03-25T19:59:00.003Z

I’ve put my grumpiness on hold because there's good news to report: Another short story sale. And what a quick response – just over a month from submission to acceptance. This time the sale is to That's Life! in AUSTRALIA. To quote the adorable Brendan from Coach Trip, ‘I’m international’ and I couldn’t be more thrilled.

This sale is hit number 5 from the February submission frenzy (you may well recall jubilation when I got two star letters in a row in best and I’ve also had two of my February letters published in Bella). Maybe I’m not as daft as I look, after all.

And to prove that you really can’t do this alone (well, I suppose you can but it’s a lot harder and a lot less fun) I have thanks to give out: Firstly, to Colette – who prompted me to sub to this market by saying she thought they’d like my stories. And, of course, to womagwriter – who generously publishes guidelines for this and every other short story market on her blog. If I ever meet you in real life, girls, the cake’s on me.

Ten Comments Guaranteed to Annoy Me

2010-03-24T19:45:00.000Z

These days, I find I’m increasingly intolerant of minor irritants. Specifically, those minor irritants who don’t want to do their jobs properly. If you accept a salary for being, say, a manager at my local Asda, then in exchange for that salary you should jolly well behave like a manager.

Step forward Graham (who refused to divulge his surname). Graham’s annoying catchphrases, used in varying degrees during an increasingly heated half hour phone call (which was made after two visits to the store regarding the same matter) included:

1.‘We sometimes have problems with phone cards…’. Very interesting, Graham, but I’m not really interested in talking about phone cards. Especially as I've explained countless times that my problem is with an i-tunes voucher.

2.‘You may have bought your i-tunes voucher from our store, but we’re only agents. Your contract is with Apple so if there’s something wrong with your voucher you need to contact them.’ No, Graham – I bought my i-tunes voucher from Asda. And Asda was very happy to take my £25 in payment. So if I can’t register my card, I expect someone at Asda to help me.

3.‘We can’t tell if there’s something wrong with the card.’ I think you'll find that you can. (Head office later confirmed that the store can ascertain whether the card is working by simply swiping it at the till (and I’d already taken the card back to the store twice by this point)).

4.‘All our staff are trained in how to activate i-tunes vouchers.’ This is an outright lie. At least two members of your staff plus yourself clearly have no idea.

5.‘Every card is activated as soon as it goes through the till point.’ Mine wasn’t. And insisting it was doesn’t make it so.

6.‘I don’t have a telephone number for head office.’ Why not? If a customer asks for a means to contact head office to complain about the fact you’re becoming increasingly awkward and refusing to help, then you should be able to provide them with a number.

7.‘I might be able to give you a number for insurance.’ Eh? What’s insurance go to do with it?

8.‘Stop shouting.’ As I patiently explained, I wasn’t shouting. Had I been shouting, you would have known all about it. I have a loud voice at the best of times. I would probably have deafened you.

9.‘I’m here to help you.’ That might be true, but sadly, Graham, you didn’t manage it.

10.‘It’s nothing to do with Asda.’ Aaaargh.

I’ve worked in retail myself. I know how infuriating and unreasonable some customers can be. But all I wanted was the working i-tunes voucher I’d paid for. And when a store is very happy to accept payment, they should be equally happy to accept responsibility when things go wrong. Or is that a horribly old-fashioned concept?

By Googling ‘Asda head office customer services’ I managed to get a number in seconds (take note, Graham). And it’s only because I spoke to a lovely, lovely young man named Sam – who, even from his remote location, managed to offer a solution – that I haven’t defected to Tesco for the foreseeable future.

Sam was great – and, bearing in mind how much Graham had wound me up before I phoned head office, this is no exaggeration. He offered just the right tone of sympathy backed with action. Okay, this was just offering a complaint number and an assurance that I was in the right and my problem would be sorted, but that’s all I was looking for. And he was sympathetic when I suggested Asda might do well to offer Graham further training in customer relations.

Shockingly, it seems Asda do take responsibility for i-tunes vouchers that don’t work. And it seems Asda are willing activate cards they’ve sold that they didn’t manage to activate at the point of sale.

So, we can blame ignorance rather than store policy for this unpleasantness. Graham waffled and blustered because he didn’t know what to do. But, in his role as manager, wasn’t it his duty to find out? Most customers would be patient and sympathetic to a manager who was doing his best.

In the scheme of things, this might seem quite trivial. But it was very, very annoying. And I could feel my already raised blood pressure go through the roof. In fact, I’ve still got a headache.

Next time, I’ll be talking about something this blog was supposed to be about when I set it up – a book. Actually, a book I wasn’t so keen on. Tune in soon to find out why.

Yes, I think that middle-age grumpiness really is kicking in.

Thanks, Prolific Blogging and Happy Cupcakes

2010-03-14T15:35:00.003Z

A huge thank you to everyone who left a message offering birthday wishes on my last post. I still get a shock every time I remember my advanced age. Trouble is, in my head I'm still 15. And I think time's kind of running out for me to ever feel like a proper grown-up now I'm over the hill and freewheeling down the other side.

But, I'm feeling a bit better now and here's why:
1. All the lovely messages on my last post. Love the lovely blogging friends.
2. All the chocolate and cake that are always associated with birthdays.
3. How good Kathryn Bigelow looks at 58. I don't look that good now, but I'm hoping that by 58 I might.

Anyway, a couple of awards to accept. Firstly, many thanks for a Prolific Blogger Award from lovely Debs

And thanks also to lovely Lacey and lovely Maya who have both nominated me for the Happy Cupcake Award!

As a condition of accepting, I need to list ten things that make me happy, so:

1. My family (some members, anyway) and friends.

2. Book shops. I get goose bumps when I step over the threshold and never leave without spending a fortune.

3. Writing. And reading or talking about writing. My greatest find last year was a lovely friend who lives practically on my doorstep and who writes (you know who you are) - this is the first real-life friend ever (as opposed to cyber friends) to understand my compulsion. We share leisurely coffees, sticky cakes and non-stop writing chat.

4. The Edinburgh Book Festival. A truly wonderful event. What could be nicer than listening to writers speaking about their work and mingling with other bookaholics?

5. John Barrowman. Love the lovely John - and he really knows how to put on a show. Audience members are always in the frame of mind to be entertained and nobody leaves the theatre without a smile on their face. Friend John's birthday gift to me was tickets for the next JB tour. Am truly a happy, happy Sue.

6. Scotland. I love my adopted country. Fresh air, open spaces and the most beautiful scenery in the world.

7. Wales. The country of my birth. I was given a Rhydian Roberts cd for Christmas and listened to it in the car last week. When he sang the Welsh national anthem I surprised myself by crying.

8. The thought I can one day give up the dreaded day job. I loathe it with a passion (have I said before?) and the only thing that keeps me going is the hope I might be able to give up one day. Soon.

9. Chocolate. Especially lime cremes. Worryingly, the last time I got dressed up I found I was wearing brown and green - and reminded myself of a lime creme.

10. Blogging. I've discovered like-minded individuals and the support of other writers has proved invaluable.

I'm supposed to pass these awards on, but as ever am finding it impossible to narrow my choice down. So, if you haven't already been awarded a Happy Cupcake or a Prolific Blogger, consider yourself nominated.

A Very Nasty Birthday (and a couple of nice surprises)

2010-03-07T12:09:00.004Z

I suffered a nasty birthday last week. A VERY nasty birthday. Being a lady, I'm not going to talk numbers - but this was the kind of birthday that has one re-evaluating life and wondering exactly how long might be left.

If I live as long as my dad, then I only have 14 years (although, that would be enough to see the 13-year-old grow up safely, so if that's all I get I'll be grateful). But my mum's still going strong in her sixties, and my grandparents (all apart from the granddad who was shot down in WWII at the age of 26) have lived into their eighties. So hopefully I inherited the longevity gene from them - because I really would like to stay around long enough to meet my future grandbabies.

The day was miserable. My mum sang Happy Birthday and then (as she does every year) suggested she should be the one to get presents as she was the one who did the work all those years ago.

I spent the next few hours examining my wrinkles - yes, it took that long, there are quite a few of them.

That was enough to make me sink even further into my self-indulgent sulk.

But I did pause from my misery long enough to admire The People's Friend when - surprise number one - the postman brought my contributor copy. (Issue dated 6th March.)

Now, the nasty birthday is just a fading memory. And I'm nearly over the upset - after all, getting older is much preferable to the alternative.

And, this week, surprise number two - another star letter in best. (This one's on sale until the new issue comes out on Tuesday.) This time I'm talking about Brendan from Coach Trip. I adore Brendan. And I adore Coach Trip. So, this is a positive opinion - not a complaint about a minor celebrity in sight.

This letter was the third hit from my February submission frenzy. Although, would you believe Take a Break has already rejected two of my handy hints?

Evil penguins plot to take over the world...

2010-03-06T11:15:00.001Z

...or my blog, at least.

The penguins who took up residence just above Alan Rickman corner a few weeks ago have proved to be more trouble than they're worth. Despite looking cute and innocent, they brought along a trojan horse that diverted attention from my blog onto another site.

At one stage I was sure I'd never see my blog again. But, after calling in reinforcements, they were eventually deleted. And the virus checks have been run, the firewall's in place and all seems to be well.

Apparently, this is a common problem. Falling snow can do the same. As can unofficial counters.

It's an odd world when you can no longer count on a penguin to be what it seems.

Anyway - I've stayed away form blogland and the internet for the past few days, just in case it proved contagious (have to admit, I really don't know how these things work). So, I'm glad to be back and hope to catch up with all your comments, blogs and e-mails in the next day or two.

The Definition Of Daft?

2010-02-28T23:18:00.004Z

Give me a deadline and I'll work like mad to make sure I hit it. I've even been known to stay up all night to complete a client's work (invariably a client who's so disorganised they didn't give me their paperwork until the last minute, but that's another story). Those of you who know how old I am will know how much of an effort that takes - at my age I need every decent night's sleep I can get.

But, last November, I had face the shame of failure. NaNo was a no-no from start to finish. Good intentions subsided to leave feelings of guilt as the days of November whizzed by and not a word did I write. And I decided then I'd never again publish writing targets until they'd been accomplished.

So, along came February. Dark, dreary, cold. But also the shortest month of the year - with only 28 days clear. And I set myself a challenge. Could I manage a sub a day in those 28 days?

Well, the answer is a BIG FAT YES I COULD.

After the disappointment of NaNo, I'm severely chuffed.

Although, it has to be said that some of the subs might barely qualify - handy household hints (and you may remember nobody wanted any of my handy hints last year), fillers, letters and only a handful of short stories. But it was my challenge and so the judge rules: No cheating was involved.

In 2010 I'm going for quantity and seeing where it takes me. I suspect that really is the definition of daft.

Weighty issues and why I'd never marry a footballer (even if one asked)

2010-02-23T15:38:00.003Z

I know why I'm fat - I like to eat and I don't like to move. In fact, given that my favourite pastime is to sit and write with a large bar of chocolate for company, my giant backside never stood a chance in life.

But I am trying - sort of. I made a reluctant start yesterday by buying a Healthy Choice chicken curry from my favourite food hall. It's my favourite because its food is lovely - normally. But this chicken curry has to be one of the most disgusting things I've ever eaten. It was so horrible I couldn't finish it - and I haven't left anything on my plate since 1986 (which, oddly, is the year I first noticed the expansion of my rear end).

Perhaps that's the point with diet meals - they make them taste bad so the dieter doesn't eat them and so loses weight?

In the end, I sliced up half a loaf and had bread and butter for my tea - followed by Ben & Gerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

The diet starts tomorrow.

And why wouldn't I want to be married to a footballer? If you really want to know you'll have to buy a copy of this week's best magazine - where I have the star letter - and all will be revealed.

The value of a good critique...

2010-02-16T14:34:00.004Z

You want to be a writer. You yearn to be published. You scribble every spare moment in the hope that, one day, you might catch an editor's eye.

You spend a small fortune on stamps and send your stories into the world...and you wait...and hope..and wait some more. And then, eventually, the postman arrives - bearing news: Your stories returned with no explanation other than form rejections...

AAAARGH.

If you get no feedback from an editor, it's nearly impossible to work out where you've gone wrong. Unless, that is, you opt for a professional critique.

On several occasions, in my long and ugly struggle to be published, I've sent my work to professional working writers, in the hope I might glean some idea as to how my work might be improved. (I should point out here that these people offer critiques and my work has always been accompanied by a cheque, I'm not quite daft enough to expect free advice from random writers without invitation.)

My experience is that critiques are of varying use.

Some critiques have been full of nothing but praise and positivity - brilliant for the ego, but little use when I'm trying to improve. One, notably, concentrated on every negative aspect, berating character, voice, story line and just about everything else. That wasn't so good for the ego, but was equally useless as a learning tool because I chose to ignore it. In my stubborn opinion, any professional who would respond with such unrelenting negativity obviously has other issues pending, calling into question the validity of all the advice given. And yes, I know that editors are often harsh, but at least by the time an editor is interested you can assume you've the talent needed to be published. When you've paid for the critique, you don't have that assurance so you need to hear what's working as well as what isn't.

Besides, I'm not an advocate of tough love - I want to know what's wrong with my story, but I want to be told gently. I don't want to feel I've been the victim of a personal attack.

In my opinion, preparing a critique is a fine art. The finished document should offer a balanced view - point out the positives and suggest where improvements might be made. And it should offer encouragement - suggestions that the work has some merit, hope that it might one day be published. I do want honesty, but however bad my work might be, I don't want my dreams completely shattered.

Without exception, the best critiques I've ever received have been from Sue Moorcroft, through a series of competitions in Writers' Forum last year.

This successful and knowledgeable writer is so generous with advice it's not true. And, while the good is pointed out, the not so good is also highlighted, but with kindness and tact. And her advice works. Two of my competition entries have since sold to their target markets - and this is as a direct result of the advice that was given in these critiques.

So, imagine my delight when this month's Writers' Forum popped through my letterbox, to find that Sue Moorcroft is the new competition judge for the magazine. And, along with Jan Jones, she will be offering an optional critique service for all entrants.

If you're an aspiring short story writer, this can only be brilliant news. So, why not pop over to Sue's blog and read all about it...

And, if you've come across another critique service that works, please mention it (I'm particularly interested in services for category romances). I need all the help I can get.

The Book I Couldn't Put Down...

2010-02-15T15:19:00.002Z

I'm not a fan of royal romances, mainly because I'm not fond of princes (exceptions made for Richard Chamberlain in The Slipper And The Rose and Michael Praed as Prince Michael of Moldova in Dynasty).

My aversion to the majority of princes stems from my upbringing - I grew up in Wales where Charles was very much our Prince. His likeness was to be found everywhere and the portrait painters had not been kind to him. As a consequence, when I was a young child, his face haunted my daydreams and my nightmares.

In short, he frightened the living daylights out of me.

These days I'm not superficial enough to judge a prince by his cover. However, I do believe Charles has proved himself unworthy of devotion on several counts. I'm not going to go into details as I've heard (don't know if it's true, but am not taking any chances) that one can still legally be executed for treason in this country. I suspect pouring scorn on a senior royal might qualify as treason and Prince Charles isn't worth losing my head over.

I won't go on because I'm sure you get the idea...I don't like royal stories.

However, I do like to buy first HM&B books. It's good to support new writers on their road to success and the joy of discovering a new favourite is always something to be celebrated. Less altruistically, I read first books in the hope that I might glean some insight into the magic that's captured the attention of an editor. So, when I read that Caitlin Crews'first book for HM&B was entitled Pure Princess, Bartered Bride (Mills & Boon Modern ) (Modern Romance), it posed a dilemma.

Although, this isn't strictly a true first book as Ms Crews already has half a dozen published novels under her belt as Megan Crane. But it is her first HM&B. So, did I follow my code and buy this? Or did I avoid it like the plague because of the royal connection?

I'm pleased to say I took the first option and I was gripped from the first page. Further, I was relieved to find it has no princes, only a very lovely princess. I like princesses - having spent most of my life wanting to be one (in my own right, of course - I'd never marry a prince to gain that status). And if I were a princess, I'd want to be exactly like Princess Gabrielle.

And I'd want my hero to be exactly like Luc.

Sigh.

This book is scorching hot with believable characters, glamorous settings and, of course, the ever important emotionally satisfying HEA.

More to the point, those vital clues to the secrets that hooked an editor are blatantly on show. The character arcs are well defined, the emotional journey beautifully charted. And I even began to grasp the intricacies of internal conflict.

It's all there.

So, if you're looking for a terrific romantic read - buy this book. If you're an aspiring author of romance - buy this book. In fact, whatever your circumstances, just buy this book.

And now I'm off to investigate Megan Crane's novels.

Positively Green

2010-02-13T10:52:00.008Z

I haven't forgotten my promise to reveal the Modern Romance I couldn't put down - to follow shortly - but, in the meantime...

I'm not much given to envy - especially of other writers. (Okay, there are some who will have seen my expressions of jealousy when Caroline and Joanne have spoken about attending workshops with the wonderful Kate Walker - but only because I'd have liked to go with them, never ever because I wish it was me instead of them.)

And I've never begrudged JK or Dan their millions. Not once. Instead I've used news of their income as inspiration of what can happen when you give the public what they want.

So why did I feel sick when it was revealed (on the News at Ten last night) that Coleen Rooney pockets £40,000 A MONTH for a column in a celebrity gossip magazine?

The way to get rich quick...and some writing news

2010-02-09T23:19:00.003Z

Thank you all for your advice on my previous post - lots of good ideas, but I think it's obvious that if I want to make a lot of money quickly - and with minimal effort - I'm down to two options:

1. Marry rich.

2. Win the jackpot on the lottery.

At my age, options for 1 will be limited. Rich men tend to want much younger wives, so I'd best start looking for an eligible supercentenarian male. Rich men can also be autocratic and overbearing - qualities I find hard to admire (unless they're packaged in a red hot alpha male between the covers of a book), so, all things considered, I'm probably best to keep buying the lottery tickets.

But, there is good news. My story has appeared in The Weekly News. And, JOHN BARROWMAN (looking lovely) graced the cover of the self same issue. They couldn't have made me happier if they'd tried.

This is just a quick visit to Blogland today - lots going on, none of it very interesting so won't bother you with the details. But, tune in next time to find out which current Modern Romance I not only couldn't put down, but wish I'd written myself.

New Plan of Action Required

2010-01-31T12:13:00.004Z

Regular visitors will know how much I hate my day jobs. And it doesn't look like I'm ever going to earn a living from what I love to do most - writing. So I need a new plan of action.

I need to earn a lot of money quickly and the means by which I do this has to be legal and moral.

Ideas gratefully received.

Just a quick thought: if my oddly shaped feet were hairy, I could get work as a Hobbit.

A Non-Story and A Minor Hit

2010-01-27T22:19:00.006Z

I got a bit of a shock last week: best magazine had no letters' page. I was aghast. This is the first page I turn to every week - and not only so I can check if any of my letters have been printed.

But, if the lack of letters' page was a permanent development, it would mean the end of one of my favourite outlets for my written opinions. And it would be much missed. Who else would pay me to complain about annoying minor celebrities?

My Tuesdays would never be the same again.

Thankfully, the page was back this week. So that's a bit of a non-story, but reason for celebration nonetheless, because I'd already written this market off.

And, today, news of another hit: Prima wise words. That's the third with Prima in three months - but I know it's coming to an end because I didn't sub any for next month's issue. However, if you really want to find out how I know I'm turning into my mother, you can read about it in the March issue - out now.

Gone Visiting

2010-01-23T22:31:00.001Z

Huge thanks to Julie for inviting me to write a guest post over at Julie's Quest. If you have a moment, pop over and say 'hi'. I'm talking about the importance of Blogland Friends.

And I've added some pets to my blog. If you scroll down, just above Alan Rickman Corner you'll see some penguins and some fish (not in the same tank - otherwise the penguins might have enjoyed a tasty snack and I'd have ended up with no fish). Move over the tanks and they'll follow your cursor - click the mouse to feed the fish. Thank you Carla for pointing me in the right direction.

And what of my eight-legged friend???? Well, guess what I had to evict today? In JANUARY... Aren't they supposed to die out in the cold, or be hibernating, or something?

Making Plans For This Weekend

2010-01-21T20:03:00.002Z

Brilliant news...

Pull on your leg warmers and step into your dancing shoes - Fame - Season 2 [DVD] [1983] is now available on dvd. My copy arrived this afternoon - so this weekend will find me curled up on the sofa with a box of chocolates, revisiting olden days. I don't know if I'll manage all 22 episodes, but I'll have a jolly good try.

Can't wait.

Thank you, Jackie…

2010-01-19T22:05:00.001Z

Lovely Jackie has nominated me for a Kreativ Blog Award. I’m thrilled. As a condition of accepting, I have to divulge 7 facts about myself and, as ever, I’ll probably end up telling you far too much about my private life.… (But should maybe warn there’s very little of interest- sorry.)

1. I have one daughter – one niece – one sister – four girl cousins. We are a family of females, no boys are ever born to any of us – throw in Mr Darcy and we’d very nearly be a Jane Austen novel.

2. When I was at school, I took secretarial studies (against advice – it was considered a soft option) specifically so I could learn to touch type. It seems unbelievable in these days of computers, but, unless you opted for this, you didn’t get anywhere near a keyboard. And I wanted to write – even then. My first attempt was bashed out on an Olivetti and send to Mills and Boon when I was 16. It was rejected – but very nicely.

3. My first language is Welsh. When I first began to write in English, I found myself adding ‘e’s where there shouldn’t be any – because, in my Welsh brain, I thought English should have vast numbers of ‘e’s . These days, living in Scotland, there’s not much call for Welsh, so I only ever use it when I speak to my Mum and sister. When we went back to Wales for a holiday recently (after many, many years away) I was completely spooked because it seemed like the locals had stolen the secret language from inside my head.

4. I hate my day job. And I think my day job hates me. This isn’t a secret – but it makes me feel better to tell someone about it at regular intervals.

5. My favourite food in the world is cake. Any cake will do. If it’s covered in chocolate or cream or butter icing (or all three) then so much the better. And then I wonder why I’m fat.

6. My feet are horrid. They’re only a size 4 – but are as wide as they are long. They look fat. And I can never wear pretty sandals or pointy shoes. This pains me because I love pretty sandals and pointy shoes.

7. Despite taking many lessons, I still can’t swim. And I’ve never been able to ride a bike.

As always, I can’t chose between all the blogs I love – so, am going to nominate all of you (again).

The day I stopped complaining...

2010-01-14T22:01:00.001Z

Yes, today I've changed the habit of a lifetime and haven't complained once. And here are three reasons to be cheerful:

1.The thaw - after more than three weeks of arctic conditions, most of the roads are now clear. Temperatures yesterday reached a giddy +4C and it was positively balmy. Today we've had some snow, but thankfully nothing like the quantities of the past few weeks and (holding breath here as I write) not much has settled anew.

Despite an upturn in our weather, I am aware that conditions are still harsh elsewhere, so I hope you're all keeping safe wherever you are.

2. I'm thrilled to have received a blog award. Thank you to lovely Colette for this:

Now the hard bit - I'm supposed to pass it on to others...But, how can I possibly decide? So I'm going to award it to all of you (Amanda has done the same over at her blog - so I hope she doesn't mind me copying her very good idea.)

3. A great start to the writing year... in the past two weeks I've sold a filler (to Prima), a star letter (to best - edited, but they're sending me a cheque, so I'll live with it) and A SHORT STORY TO THE WEEKLY NEWS (sorry - shouting, but am very very happy).

Putting things into perspective...

2010-01-08T20:31:00.008Z

You know I said I was going to stop whinging? Well, I lied. The cold's seeped through to my bones and has deep frozen my internal organs - every time I move my kidneys complain. I'm sitting here (with the heating on) in two t-shirts, a jumper and a giant fleece with a hot water bottle in the pocket - and I'm still cold.

But it could be worse...

How about this - according to BBC news, the coldest recorded place on earth: Vostok, Antarctica, where temperatures of -89.2C have been recorded.

From the same article, in the village of Oymyakon in the Russian Republic of Sakha, the school doesn't close until the temperature reaches -52C. And, should you ever visit the capital of Sakha, Yakutsk - aka the coldest city in the world - don't wear your glasses outside or they'll very probably freeze to your face.

Kind of makes the -23C recorded in the Highlands last night seem like a summer holiday.

Still freezing...but overwhelmed by kindness

2010-01-05T20:09:00.005Z

As promised, I'm back to being my happy self. And I'm left a little embarrassed that I allowed my complaining to spill out into the public domain last time.

No, nothing's changed - no lottery win, no multi-million pound book deal, no miraculous thaw. But all your kind and supportive comments have shown I'm not alone.

Huge thanks to everyone who took the time to leave a message. Love the lovely blogging friends.

WARNING: Serious Whinge Alert

2010-01-02T18:00:00.007Z

January 2nd and the shine's already worn off the optimism of a new year. I don't actually like the whole New Year celebration thing - all that happy-happy kissy-kissy stuff, with strange drunks behaving as though they're your best friend, although they won't give you the time of day for the rest of the year. It all seems rather forced and false.

So, every New Year's Eve, I decline all invitations and take to my bed. Actually, now the daughter's older, I'm forced to stay up until the bells, but I was tucked under my duvet by five past midnight. And I haven't been outdoors since.

And, I'm not happy.

I don't make a habit of whinging. Normally, I'm positive to the point of self-delusion (no, honestly - I am). But, today, several tiny annoyances have joined forces and resulted in a case of the 'I'm fed ups'.

First: - We woke up to another blizzard this morning. We've had persistent snow since December 17th and it's all getting tedious. And when it's not snowing, it's freezing - so fresh snow always falls onto several inches of ice. I hate walking on it. I hate driving in it - something I've been obliged to do only once so far over the holidays, when I had to go to work (boo hiss). It took me over an hour to defrost the car and, while the roads in town have mostly been kept clear, the rural highways are still horrid. We have to go back to school/work proper on Wednesday next week and I don't think it's going to clear by then. And I'm petrified. The school run is sixteen miles over high ground and I've only got a tiny, little two-wheel-drive Rover (that still has a dent in the bonnet from when we hit a tree that had blown into the road two years ago) - although I don't think I'd feel much better with a four-wheel-drive to be honest. I'd seriously consider home educating if she didn't already know much more than I do. I know this is January, I know this is Scotland, I know we're on the same latitude as Siberia. But, in the name of all that's holy, where's the Gulf Stream when you really need it?

Second: - I need to lose three stones. Implicit in this is the need to exercise more, eat less, blah, blah, blah... This urge to lose weight is necessity rather than vanity. I suffered pre-eclampsia when I was expecting my daughter and my blood pressure has never gone down. At the last six monthly check, it was so high the machine couldn't read it. So, if I want to avoid resulting complications, I need to bring it down - and fast. Losing weight is the most effective way to do that. Of course, losing weight means my face will collapse. For my age, I don't think I'm that badly wrinkled - but if I lose the layers of fat that prop everything up, I'm bound to look at least twenty years older than my chronological age. And my boobs will head even further south. But, at least my sagging bosoms will keep my ankles warm and, hopefully, my deflating body will correspond to a similar shrinking of my legendary giant arse. Every cloud...

Third: - My writing. It's all I've ever wanted to do. But I'm sadly reaching the conclusion I'm not good enough at it. And I don't' think I ever will be.

Fourth: - This might seem trivial in the extreme, but it really p*****d me off this morning. I'd saved the last strawberry cream from the tin of Quality Street only to find that, when I bit into it, I nearly broke a tooth. The fondant was HARD. That's just not right. We've opened the Celebrations now, but I'm not too keen on them. Will have to finish them quickly so we can start another tin of Roses (yes, I know, weight issues - but after we've finished the holiday chocs I won't be buying any more).

Fifth: - I'm going to combine these as they both relate to finances. I still haven't won the lottery. And my ex-husband (the giant rat-man) has now not paid a penny in child support for seven and a half years. The odds of winning the jackpot on the lottery has been famously set at something like 14million to one against - but I know there's a bigger chance of the win than the ex coughing up.

Sixth: - My hair. I hate it. It's remarkably horrible today. Despite my best efforts (and boy did I make an effort), once again I resemble Severous Snape's long lost twin sister.

Seventh: - I know how lucky I am to be working, but I loathe all my day jobs with such passion it makes me feel sick. When I'm at work, I do my best and work hard - and everyone seems pleased with the result. But I really, really don't want to go back after the holidays. Not to any of them. They're boring. They're badly paid. And it's only a matter of time before it's discovered that I really don't have a clue what I'm supposed to be doing. All I really want to do is to stay home and write. But there's number 3 to consider. And I'm trapped - like most people I work because I have to, not because I want to. And other employment options are severely limited by my circumstances.

So, with all that going on, I suppose I'm very lucky I'm just a bit fed up.

Hope I haven't put any of you off visiting me again. I promise next time I'll be happy and smiley.

Best Writing Year Ever...

2009-12-31T14:52:00.003Z

I should qualify that title by saying it's been my best writing year ever - and I know many others will have done much, much better. But it's always nice to end the year on a positive note and 2009 has been a very positive year for me in many ways.

Time to dig out the Black 'n' Red notebook for an end of year roundup:

Since January, I've sold 22 letters and fillers (to best, Chat, that's life, Bella, Prima) and 2 short stories (both to The People's Friend). My hit rate was 25% for letters and fillers and 50% for short stories. Not included in these statistics, the numerous handy household tips subbed - nobody wanted my wisdom on crafty ways around the house. (Can you believe? Shocking when I'm such a notoriously wonderful housekeeper.) And, nobody wanted my longer fiction - so I've not included those, either. (Massaging the figures? Cooking the books? - ooh, perhaps, but leaving out those things makes me feel so much better, so where's the harm?) There are still a couple of possibilities lingering out there in a tantalising fashion, but I'll include those in next year's sales (said she optimistically).

I know many of you wouldn't be singing and dancing over such meagre successes, but they've meant a lot to me. Whenever relentless rejections suggest I should hang up my keyboard, or someone I hugely admire and respect tells me my writing is a ton of c*ap and doesn't deserve to live, I just remind myself that, in the past twelve months, editors have selected and paid for 24 individual items of my work. So that must mean I can write. Doesn't it?

And yes, for any lurking taxman who might be interested, I've made some money. Not a huge amount, but enough to cover postage, stationery, RNA's New Membership Scheme fees and a tiny fraction of the cost of books and magazines I've been obliged to buy in order to make the sales. However, we all know that turnover isn't the same as profit and my accounts show I'm still running at a loss (sadly).

I'm quietly pleased with my writing progress this year (even bearing in mind the negative progress on the handy hints and novels). But, even better than the buzz of seeing my name in print, has been the friendship, support and encouragement from everyone I've met through this blog. That's what makes me want to carry on when things aren't going so well - knowing you're all on my side. And that's what's truly made 2009 my best writing year ever.

(Look at me getting all misty and emotional and I haven't even had a drink yet.)

Happy 2010 everybody - I've a feeling it's going to be a terrific year.

The Mysteries of Nature

2009-12-29T14:21:00.002Z

How can something this cute:

Grow into something this evil?
I've written before about my daughter's half-wild pet (wild? she's absolutely livid - any excuse for a Not The Nine O'Clock News clip) and not a lot's changed - apart from the fact she no longer looks like a soft toy. She still spits at anyone daft enough to get close. She still hisses for no good reason. And she still picks fights with anything that moves - and always wins. This photo (taken with a flash) doesn't quite do justice to how truly evil she can sometimes look now she's a big cat.

Wouldn't you just love to know what's going on in that head? With an expression like that, she must be planning something.

But, however cantankerous she may be, she's ours - and we still love her.

Next post - the last for 2009 -will be about writing. My long promised stats are being complied as you read and will be posted at some point between now and midnight on Thursday. (I seem to be making a big deal of these stats, but feel I should warn they're really nothing to write home about.)

Planning for Christmas 2010 and news of a great new writing book...

2009-12-26T22:07:00.010Z

Hope everybody had a good Christmas. Can't believe it's all over. However, I'm determined Christmas 2010 isn't going to catch me unawares like this one did. Crackers have already been ordered in an online sale and plans to start my pressie shopping are afoot. I know, this is incredibly sad (and very annoying), but a pre-planned Christmas is only a theory - in reality I'll probably lose the crackers and forget the shopping until the last minute. Again.

And, some good news, Love Writing: How to Make Money Writing Romantic or Erotic Fiction has been released early. Have picked up my copy and, as predicted here, it's brilliant. Full of advice, you can't fail to learn something and be inspired every time you dip between its pages.

Where this how-to-write book differs from others is that, as well as offering terrific advice of her own, Sue has collected questions from wannabes and secured answers from professionals in the industry.

And, I'm thrilled to report I'm in it. The questions I submitted have been used and I've been given credit for them. Fancy that, my name in a book - six times. (The only thing that would make me happier would be my name on the cover of my own book, but I'm working on that.)

However, I'm not quite narcissistic enough to turn news of someone else's success into a story completely about me, so back to the book. Huge congratulations to Sue Moorcroft. I've a feeling Love Writing is destined to become a companion to many, many aspiring writers on their quest for publication.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-20T16:35:00.004Z

There's snow on the ground, the tree's up, the first tin of Roses is very nearly finished (only the horrible ones left), Elf has been on tv...Christmas is very nearly here. And this is very probably going to be my last post now before the big day.

I'd like to wish you all a very MERRY CHRISTMAS - may Santa bring you all that you wish for.

(Tune in before the New Year to see if I've been brave enough to post my end of year stats this year.)